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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Okay, time to rake me over the coals...
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 547793" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>One thought: Who has made a gospel out of this detachment and enabling thing? I mean, yes, it is often a good option. It does save sanity of parents. At times it even gives good results. But it is not begin all, end all thing. It is not the only option. It may very well be, that it's not the best option in some/many cases. So no, you didn't fail or take a set back, you just made a different choice. The choice that has it's good sides and bad. May turn to help her or hinder her, or neither. Is not likely to make a huge difference anyway, to be frank.</p><p></p><p>I have never seen any reliable studies about outcomes of different parenting choices when it comes to addiction. It seems that it's just trends and different things are in favour in different times. Tough love, detachment, not enabling have been in favour some time now. I don't see a dramatic drop in substance abuse problem. So I assume no one has yet found that one and only best solution to the matter, that would actually really work. In fact reading studies they have made from different treatment methods seems to suggest, that most who get sober do it be themselves, without treatment. And many highly held treatment strategies in fact have poorer success rate than rate of spontaneous recoveries. </p><p></p><p>So when no one really has any good, reliable, working strategy for all this, I think that any solution one considers best at the moment goes. And your decision to give her a car certainly has it perks. it gives her more freedom to choose. She will make her choices, those you can not control, but I don't see, how giving her more power over her life would be bad.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 547793, member: 14557"] One thought: Who has made a gospel out of this detachment and enabling thing? I mean, yes, it is often a good option. It does save sanity of parents. At times it even gives good results. But it is not begin all, end all thing. It is not the only option. It may very well be, that it's not the best option in some/many cases. So no, you didn't fail or take a set back, you just made a different choice. The choice that has it's good sides and bad. May turn to help her or hinder her, or neither. Is not likely to make a huge difference anyway, to be frank. I have never seen any reliable studies about outcomes of different parenting choices when it comes to addiction. It seems that it's just trends and different things are in favour in different times. Tough love, detachment, not enabling have been in favour some time now. I don't see a dramatic drop in substance abuse problem. So I assume no one has yet found that one and only best solution to the matter, that would actually really work. In fact reading studies they have made from different treatment methods seems to suggest, that most who get sober do it be themselves, without treatment. And many highly held treatment strategies in fact have poorer success rate than rate of spontaneous recoveries. So when no one really has any good, reliable, working strategy for all this, I think that any solution one considers best at the moment goes. And your decision to give her a car certainly has it perks. it gives her more freedom to choose. She will make her choices, those you can not control, but I don't see, how giving her more power over her life would be bad. [/QUOTE]
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