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Oldest Adult ODD starting problems
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 247235" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I have a son on the autism spectrum. While it isn't as serious as the disabilities that your daughter has (loss of short term memory etc.) I know I can't live forever. Because of that, he WILL some day be without us so we are looking into alternative living arrangements for him, such as an apartment with a roommate and somebody who checks in on him every day. As much as we wish we could be there for our disabled k ids forever, there comes a time when we can't. I'm a little puzzled as to why your daughter can't get SSI. That really reeks. She should be able to get SSI and other services as well including some sort of comfortable living arrangements so that GP and GM don't have to watch her. in my opinion they are too old to have to do this--and the day will come when they CAN'T. Like some disabled adults, she may need some caregiving all of her life, but it can't come from us because we aren't going to be around as long as they are and then the loss, if we are their only means of help, will be far worse for them and also in my opinion terrify them. I'm an older parent--55--so we are already thinking of what challenges we have in planning the rest of our son's life. One thing we have done is enlisted a younger couple who is very dear to us and loves our son--they will be his guardian, if he needs one, when we are no longer here. Certainly, nobody here meant for you to turn your back on a young lady who can't take care of herself. However, at the same time, she is hard to care for and in my opinion GM and GP shouldn't have to do it and there has to be resources to help your entire family. I live in a small town myself and know that big cities have more resources, however, small towns, like ours, are also safer for our kids. Everyone knows my son and looks out for him--so it's a mixed bag. And there IS assisted living and, unlike in some cities, it is wonderful and in a very safe place. They also have a sheltered workshop for disabled adults here. You may want to call social services and ask if they can help you at all. I'm sorry I was so hard on you at first. I was thinking of a child like my own daughter who abused drugs. That's different. Your daughter needs supervision, but you will wear yourself out--and GM and GP--if you can't get help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 247235, member: 1550"] I have a son on the autism spectrum. While it isn't as serious as the disabilities that your daughter has (loss of short term memory etc.) I know I can't live forever. Because of that, he WILL some day be without us so we are looking into alternative living arrangements for him, such as an apartment with a roommate and somebody who checks in on him every day. As much as we wish we could be there for our disabled k ids forever, there comes a time when we can't. I'm a little puzzled as to why your daughter can't get SSI. That really reeks. She should be able to get SSI and other services as well including some sort of comfortable living arrangements so that GP and GM don't have to watch her. in my opinion they are too old to have to do this--and the day will come when they CAN'T. Like some disabled adults, she may need some caregiving all of her life, but it can't come from us because we aren't going to be around as long as they are and then the loss, if we are their only means of help, will be far worse for them and also in my opinion terrify them. I'm an older parent--55--so we are already thinking of what challenges we have in planning the rest of our son's life. One thing we have done is enlisted a younger couple who is very dear to us and loves our son--they will be his guardian, if he needs one, when we are no longer here. Certainly, nobody here meant for you to turn your back on a young lady who can't take care of herself. However, at the same time, she is hard to care for and in my opinion GM and GP shouldn't have to do it and there has to be resources to help your entire family. I live in a small town myself and know that big cities have more resources, however, small towns, like ours, are also safer for our kids. Everyone knows my son and looks out for him--so it's a mixed bag. And there IS assisted living and, unlike in some cities, it is wonderful and in a very safe place. They also have a sheltered workshop for disabled adults here. You may want to call social services and ask if they can help you at all. I'm sorry I was so hard on you at first. I was thinking of a child like my own daughter who abused drugs. That's different. Your daughter needs supervision, but you will wear yourself out--and GM and GP--if you can't get help. [/QUOTE]
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