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Parent Emeritus
Oldest's Spiral, again.
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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 366328" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>I agree with Susie that treating different children different ways is often appropriate. They aren't clones and their different situations need individualized responses .... so if the principle is 'helping while not taking on their responsibilities', it might mean exactly what you're doing: letting Youngest stay for a time, knowing that it's a step toward her becoming independent, while not letting Oldest move home because that would be a step backward for her and for you. Our difficult children don't see it this way (I've been accused of 'not being fair' so many times - bleh) but it's the truth. 'Help' takes many different forms.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 366328, member: 2884"] I agree with Susie that treating different children different ways is often appropriate. They aren't clones and their different situations need individualized responses .... so if the principle is 'helping while not taking on their responsibilities', it might mean exactly what you're doing: letting Youngest stay for a time, knowing that it's a step toward her becoming independent, while not letting Oldest move home because that would be a step backward for her and for you. Our difficult children don't see it this way (I've been accused of 'not being fair' so many times - bleh) but it's the truth. 'Help' takes many different forms. [/QUOTE]
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