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OMG - I cant this - really
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 194871" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Steely,</p><p> </p><p>I think Busy has a great idea - go back to where you got this referral and tell them you need other options.</p><p> </p><p>Since his b-day is imminent, I'd also recommend calling your state dept of mental health. Find out what programs and supports are available for adults, especially in terms of housing. Get him on the waiting lists. </p><p> </p><p>If the funding for this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is through the state, call that agency. I would think there should be a case manager lurking somewhere who should be a resource for you.</p><p> </p><p>If this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is unable to handle him, they should in my humble opinion have a process to assist you find a more appropriate placement rather than just telling you "we can't handle him, you have to find someplace else". Based on my experience, there should be a continuity of care with resources at this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to help with the next step. It's called discharge planning and it applies not only to kids coming home but to kids who need a different placement. That is on Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>I think I understand your concerns for his safety, but I also assume that you were aware of all the aspects of this program, including possible consequences.</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry you're not feeling heard here, Steely. Speaking for myself only, I see a mom who is frantically trying to insure her son's safety and treatment especially as the dreaded 18th b-day approaches. I can only respond based on what we're going thru here with thank you. I've been dealing with placements for over 8 years now - searching for *the* answer, the right place, the right staff who will get that lightbulb to turn on for thank you, and the facility that will protect him from himself. Right now, that place doesn't exist for him. While thank you has a bit of a safety net in terms of housing while he's still in school, how long that will last is really in question right now. thank you will not live here again, period. He may very well end up living on the streets but it will be by *his* choice because there are other options. husband and I have made a very conscious decision not to allow thank you's poor choices to rule our world for the rest of our lives, and we are trying very hard to keep the hand-wringing to a minimum because there's nothing we can do about it in real terms.</p><p> </p><p>My son is significantly impaired. It's my opinion that he needs ongoing supervision well into adulthood, possibly for life. But unless he buys into it, there's not a doggone thing I can do about it. I suspect you might see that as giving up or not caring. After more tears than I can tell you, husband and I see it as an acceptance that there is very little more we can do for thank you. I can call every agency and adult placement in the state, set up services out the ears but if thank you is uncooperative (which he is), the adult programs aren't going to waste their time on him. There are enough adults out there who *want* help.</p><p> </p><p>I understand the need to do "something". I don't know what to suggest to you other than continue to make the calls, try to find a placement and services. It's not easy. Services are spread out and tough to find but they are there. And keep doing it until you make the decision for yourself that it's enough. At some point, M is going to have to start participating in his own life and be responsible for the quality of that life, mental illness or not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 194871, member: 8"] Steely, I think Busy has a great idea - go back to where you got this referral and tell them you need other options. Since his b-day is imminent, I'd also recommend calling your state dept of mental health. Find out what programs and supports are available for adults, especially in terms of housing. Get him on the waiting lists. If the funding for this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is through the state, call that agency. I would think there should be a case manager lurking somewhere who should be a resource for you. If this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is unable to handle him, they should in my humble opinion have a process to assist you find a more appropriate placement rather than just telling you "we can't handle him, you have to find someplace else". Based on my experience, there should be a continuity of care with resources at this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to help with the next step. It's called discharge planning and it applies not only to kids coming home but to kids who need a different placement. That is on Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s shoulders. I think I understand your concerns for his safety, but I also assume that you were aware of all the aspects of this program, including possible consequences. I'm sorry you're not feeling heard here, Steely. Speaking for myself only, I see a mom who is frantically trying to insure her son's safety and treatment especially as the dreaded 18th b-day approaches. I can only respond based on what we're going thru here with thank you. I've been dealing with placements for over 8 years now - searching for *the* answer, the right place, the right staff who will get that lightbulb to turn on for thank you, and the facility that will protect him from himself. Right now, that place doesn't exist for him. While thank you has a bit of a safety net in terms of housing while he's still in school, how long that will last is really in question right now. thank you will not live here again, period. He may very well end up living on the streets but it will be by *his* choice because there are other options. husband and I have made a very conscious decision not to allow thank you's poor choices to rule our world for the rest of our lives, and we are trying very hard to keep the hand-wringing to a minimum because there's nothing we can do about it in real terms. My son is significantly impaired. It's my opinion that he needs ongoing supervision well into adulthood, possibly for life. But unless he buys into it, there's not a doggone thing I can do about it. I suspect you might see that as giving up or not caring. After more tears than I can tell you, husband and I see it as an acceptance that there is very little more we can do for thank you. I can call every agency and adult placement in the state, set up services out the ears but if thank you is uncooperative (which he is), the adult programs aren't going to waste their time on him. There are enough adults out there who *want* help. I understand the need to do "something". I don't know what to suggest to you other than continue to make the calls, try to find a placement and services. It's not easy. Services are spread out and tough to find but they are there. And keep doing it until you make the decision for yourself that it's enough. At some point, M is going to have to start participating in his own life and be responsible for the quality of that life, mental illness or not. [/QUOTE]
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