Just heard that Matthew is doing horrible again. "Unmanageable" they say. Now they have him on a desert walk for possibly days at time as a consequence. This is sounding more and more like boot camp. I am freaking out. What if he dies in the desert. I know irrational. But I am going there anyway. I need my baby to be OK. What if he is being pushed beyond his mental and physical capacity. Maybe this is not the right fit for him. I don't know what to do anymore. I was supposed to have the day off so that I could research more options for over 18 - and tend to my nervous breakdown, but instead my counselor called to cancel, and another manager is having a nervous breakdown because her husband deployed yesterday, so they called me in to work. I am so over and out and beyond mentally fragile, and I feel cursed. I am sending Matthew good vibes and positive energy right now........he can do this, he will be OK. He can do this. Please some counselor reach him, and help him find himself, his peace. Protect him, and make sure he is getting enough water, and the physical & mental help he needs. Please god, please. Help me through this.