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OMG I'm Exhausted!
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<blockquote data-quote="DazedandConfused" data-source="post: 419195" data-attributes="member: 831"><p>For the sake of those kids, I surely hope that, 1. M is kept away. 2. Katie doesn't screw this up. </p><p> </p><p>Good for you for addressing your grands directly. You are the lifeline of sanity in their lives and I hope that influences them later on. </p><p> </p><p>I'm not surprised that Katie is complaining. Hasn't she had just about everything she's ever had provided for her? Never had to sweat to earn it herself? For people that get so much with so little effort, it just doesn't have value to them. For people like you and I, when we look or think about something we have purchased, we might think about what we had to do to get the item; like a TV, or some other purchase I think about how many hours of work it took or how I saved and researched the ads, and compared, to get the best price. For Katie, just about everything is given to her. Granted, it is mostly for her children, but she also directly benefits from the largess of others. Unfortunately, it also fosters a sense of entitlement and doesn't give her the benefit of acquiring items with personal effort. Hence, her whining, which would drive me up the wall too. </p><p> </p><p>I live in a city with a high poverty and crime rate. There is a lot of subsidized apartments and other housing. I encounter children like your grands a lot as an educator. Anyway, what I used to notice is that when people move, or often are evicted, they would simply leave their stuff behind. At least furniture and sometimes toys and clothing belonging to the children. I would think, "Why do they abandon their stuff? Don't they value what it took to get it? These people are poor and struggling. Why don't they take the stuff with them?" husband and I have struggled mightily in the past and things are tight now, but it would never occur to me to leave my things behind unless I had absolutely no choice whatsoever. </p><p> </p><p>I also wondered why so many of these subsidized renters just destroy the places they live in. Or just allow the trash to pile up and leave their junk all over the place which affects the rest of the neighborhood. Don't they value where they live? Don't they have some pride?</p><p> </p><p>After seeing this happen again and again, I realized that when most humans do not (or never have) earn what they have, there's no value attached to it. When it is given (whether its a well worn couch or dresser or a Gucci purse) over and over, it doesn't have, what I like to call, Personal Sweat Value. This also applies to those from affluent or wealthy families (inspiring shows like "You're Cut Off) when Mom and Dad's money buys them a lot of material things and no parental expectations are place upon them to support themselves. </p><p> </p><p>Anyway, just some thoughts to hopefully help you with your frustration with Katie. I know you do what you do because of the grands. In your position, I would most likely to the same thing. Her apartment sounds nice and for the sake of the grands, I hope she keeps her act together so they can stay. Her track record isn't good, though. Like it or not, you are going to have to be keeping an eye on her. I think an epiphany on her part is possible, but not very likely. Your grand's best chance is the relationships with you and other "together" family members.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DazedandConfused, post: 419195, member: 831"] For the sake of those kids, I surely hope that, 1. M is kept away. 2. Katie doesn't screw this up. Good for you for addressing your grands directly. You are the lifeline of sanity in their lives and I hope that influences them later on. I'm not surprised that Katie is complaining. Hasn't she had just about everything she's ever had provided for her? Never had to sweat to earn it herself? For people that get so much with so little effort, it just doesn't have value to them. For people like you and I, when we look or think about something we have purchased, we might think about what we had to do to get the item; like a TV, or some other purchase I think about how many hours of work it took or how I saved and researched the ads, and compared, to get the best price. For Katie, just about everything is given to her. Granted, it is mostly for her children, but she also directly benefits from the largess of others. Unfortunately, it also fosters a sense of entitlement and doesn't give her the benefit of acquiring items with personal effort. Hence, her whining, which would drive me up the wall too. I live in a city with a high poverty and crime rate. There is a lot of subsidized apartments and other housing. I encounter children like your grands a lot as an educator. Anyway, what I used to notice is that when people move, or often are evicted, they would simply leave their stuff behind. At least furniture and sometimes toys and clothing belonging to the children. I would think, "Why do they abandon their stuff? Don't they value what it took to get it? These people are poor and struggling. Why don't they take the stuff with them?" husband and I have struggled mightily in the past and things are tight now, but it would never occur to me to leave my things behind unless I had absolutely no choice whatsoever. I also wondered why so many of these subsidized renters just destroy the places they live in. Or just allow the trash to pile up and leave their junk all over the place which affects the rest of the neighborhood. Don't they value where they live? Don't they have some pride? After seeing this happen again and again, I realized that when most humans do not (or never have) earn what they have, there's no value attached to it. When it is given (whether its a well worn couch or dresser or a Gucci purse) over and over, it doesn't have, what I like to call, Personal Sweat Value. This also applies to those from affluent or wealthy families (inspiring shows like "You're Cut Off) when Mom and Dad's money buys them a lot of material things and no parental expectations are place upon them to support themselves. Anyway, just some thoughts to hopefully help you with your frustration with Katie. I know you do what you do because of the grands. In your position, I would most likely to the same thing. Her apartment sounds nice and for the sake of the grands, I hope she keeps her act together so they can stay. Her track record isn't good, though. Like it or not, you are going to have to be keeping an eye on her. I think an epiphany on her part is possible, but not very likely. Your grand's best chance is the relationships with you and other "together" family members. [/QUOTE]
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