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General Parenting
Once Again - All Mom's Fault (Just Shoot Me Now!)
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 502315" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Susie, you think the way I do. I like it. Dirty but honest. </p><p></p><p>DaisyFace, don't feel too self-conscious about your need to pause. If the other person keeps talking and says thinks like "gotcha," then simply sat, "Shut up, I am giving your words the consideration you feel they are worth." take a leaf out of Judge Judy's book when she's trying to read through papers and one or other of the people before her tries to keep talking. </p><p></p><p>If the other party really does act like they've "gotcha" then make it clear - you are seriously pondering and need to be given time to draw your own considered conclusion. This cannot be rushed, your child's welfare is at stake. You're not trying to find a loophole mentally; no, you're trying to really consider what you have just been told, in light of your own experiences.</p><p></p><p>Perfectly legitimate.</p><p></p><p>Never allow yourself to be flustered. If you have to, take yourself out of the room and say, "You have given me something to consider. I need a little time apart to give it the consideration it requires."</p><p></p><p>It also helps to take notes, because over time you learn the hidden language - "with all due respect..." generally means "I have absolutely no respect for you and I'm about to show you how disrespectful I can be."</p><p></p><p>And so on.</p><p></p><p>As you learn to recognise the language, you can then learn to use it yourself. "I will give it my due consideration" generally means "I will forget everything as soon as you walk out that door." </p><p>"Of course we have your child's best welfare at heart, but we also have to consider the needs of the other students and the staff" really means "Your child is a PITA and so are you; we want you both gone."</p><p></p><p>Over time you learn to fight back with their own weapons.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 502315, member: 1991"] Susie, you think the way I do. I like it. Dirty but honest. DaisyFace, don't feel too self-conscious about your need to pause. If the other person keeps talking and says thinks like "gotcha," then simply sat, "Shut up, I am giving your words the consideration you feel they are worth." take a leaf out of Judge Judy's book when she's trying to read through papers and one or other of the people before her tries to keep talking. If the other party really does act like they've "gotcha" then make it clear - you are seriously pondering and need to be given time to draw your own considered conclusion. This cannot be rushed, your child's welfare is at stake. You're not trying to find a loophole mentally; no, you're trying to really consider what you have just been told, in light of your own experiences. Perfectly legitimate. Never allow yourself to be flustered. If you have to, take yourself out of the room and say, "You have given me something to consider. I need a little time apart to give it the consideration it requires." It also helps to take notes, because over time you learn the hidden language - "with all due respect..." generally means "I have absolutely no respect for you and I'm about to show you how disrespectful I can be." And so on. As you learn to recognise the language, you can then learn to use it yourself. "I will give it my due consideration" generally means "I will forget everything as soon as you walk out that door." "Of course we have your child's best welfare at heart, but we also have to consider the needs of the other students and the staff" really means "Your child is a PITA and so are you; we want you both gone." Over time you learn to fight back with their own weapons. Marg [/QUOTE]
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Once Again - All Mom's Fault (Just Shoot Me Now!)
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