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Once difficult child is out of the house...
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<blockquote data-quote="mrsammler" data-source="post: 481234"><p>To be accurate, I wasn't a difficult child--no addictions, no defiance, no theft or mistreatment of family members (or anyone), no criminality of any kind. I was just an immature hardcore partier who was stuck in a loop of frequent partying and wouldn't pull out of it. But the lesson of my story still applies: my father got sick of the rut I was in and my refusal to behave maturely at 20, so he kicked me out. His argument, which I find quite reasonable, was that if you're 18 or over, you're either in college full time or you're out of the house. I had dropped out of college and was working full time, supposedly to save for return to college, but was really just carousing and partying and getting nowhere, so he pulled the cord, which was entirely his prerogative. But the experience of suddenly being on my own, living in pretty embarrassing & shabby conditions (rented rooms in someone's house), scared the bejeezus out of me and made me feel like a total loser, and the only way out that I could see that would definitely get me back into college on my own dime was a military enlistment, so I swallowed hard and enlisted. Best decision I ever made.</p><p></p><p>And yes, I would imagine that basic training would cure almost any case of ODD. Defiance does NOT work and trying to get kicked out just "recycles" you back to day 1 of basic training in another unit. I.e., there's no way out, so you HAVE to shape up and start following the rules. Given a no-options situation like this, I think most difficult children (those with neuro & cognitive disorders excluded, obviously) will actually get their acts together. Plenty of kids washed out--17 out of my basic training unit--but all due to nervous breakdowns or medical problems. Defiant jerks, no matter how "tough" or stubborn, all eventually fell into line, because they had no choice. And then their lives were changed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mrsammler, post: 481234"] To be accurate, I wasn't a difficult child--no addictions, no defiance, no theft or mistreatment of family members (or anyone), no criminality of any kind. I was just an immature hardcore partier who was stuck in a loop of frequent partying and wouldn't pull out of it. But the lesson of my story still applies: my father got sick of the rut I was in and my refusal to behave maturely at 20, so he kicked me out. His argument, which I find quite reasonable, was that if you're 18 or over, you're either in college full time or you're out of the house. I had dropped out of college and was working full time, supposedly to save for return to college, but was really just carousing and partying and getting nowhere, so he pulled the cord, which was entirely his prerogative. But the experience of suddenly being on my own, living in pretty embarrassing & shabby conditions (rented rooms in someone's house), scared the bejeezus out of me and made me feel like a total loser, and the only way out that I could see that would definitely get me back into college on my own dime was a military enlistment, so I swallowed hard and enlisted. Best decision I ever made. And yes, I would imagine that basic training would cure almost any case of ODD. Defiance does NOT work and trying to get kicked out just "recycles" you back to day 1 of basic training in another unit. I.e., there's no way out, so you HAVE to shape up and start following the rules. Given a no-options situation like this, I think most difficult children (those with neuro & cognitive disorders excluded, obviously) will actually get their acts together. Plenty of kids washed out--17 out of my basic training unit--but all due to nervous breakdowns or medical problems. Defiant jerks, no matter how "tough" or stubborn, all eventually fell into line, because they had no choice. And then their lives were changed. [/QUOTE]
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