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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 560460" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>My friend, I really wish I had THE answer for you and your family. Sadly I think you have to hope for the best and be prepared for the worst. Before he comes home it would be "ideal" if you and daughter in law agreed on all the ground rules. Reading between the lines, however, I'm not sure that she is mature enough to work in unison with you and husband. </p><p></p><p>You've never said whether she is a drinker/smoker. I gather she is immature. Ideally it would be great if everyone was on the same page BUT in my humble opinion the most important part is that you and husband are on the same page now. Honestly I know how difficult it is but it is my advice that you and husband sit back down again and decide on goals and consequences. If difficult child messes up you need to stand as a united front. There is only so much you can do and as you know I have this overwhelming "Mommy heart" that makes it really painful to envision easy child/difficult child not in my life everyday BUT you and husband have to be "as one"...just like they say in marriage ceremonies. Work it out with husband even if husband doesn't want to "go there". I really think that is the key to difficult child#2's future. No more "playing Mom". It's time for him to "step up to the plate" and if he is not capable of doing it...you and husband need to have a future. Don't wait LOL until you are in your 70's. Life's too short. I'm rootin' for you. Hugs DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 560460, member: 35"] My friend, I really wish I had THE answer for you and your family. Sadly I think you have to hope for the best and be prepared for the worst. Before he comes home it would be "ideal" if you and daughter in law agreed on all the ground rules. Reading between the lines, however, I'm not sure that she is mature enough to work in unison with you and husband. You've never said whether she is a drinker/smoker. I gather she is immature. Ideally it would be great if everyone was on the same page BUT in my humble opinion the most important part is that you and husband are on the same page now. Honestly I know how difficult it is but it is my advice that you and husband sit back down again and decide on goals and consequences. If difficult child messes up you need to stand as a united front. There is only so much you can do and as you know I have this overwhelming "Mommy heart" that makes it really painful to envision easy child/difficult child not in my life everyday BUT you and husband have to be "as one"...just like they say in marriage ceremonies. Work it out with husband even if husband doesn't want to "go there". I really think that is the key to difficult child#2's future. No more "playing Mom". It's time for him to "step up to the plate" and if he is not capable of doing it...you and husband need to have a future. Don't wait LOL until you are in your 70's. Life's too short. I'm rootin' for you. Hugs DDD [/QUOTE]
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