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Open Topic - Preserving our easy child Relationships
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<blockquote data-quote="hearthope" data-source="post: 29820" data-attributes="member: 2389"><p>My memories of growing up with a difficult child brother are painful.</p><p>Not only did he drain my mother of all her emotions but all the drug treatments drained the pocketbooks as well.</p><p>He was a gifted athelete. There was NOTHING that was going to stand in his way of a football career. My parents and his coaches exhausted every possible treatment to get him straight.</p><p>The whole world revovled around him and his problems, there was nothing left for me or my much younger sister.</p><p></p><p>I was given that same talented athlete in my son. He walked off the field on day and never looked back.</p><p></p><p>The courage I have found to stand against him and his lifestyle comes from my easy child.</p><p>She is the peace maker, she is the good student and an athlete in her own right.</p><p></p><p>I made the choice to make her "right" choices override difficult child's wrong choices. It has been a long hard 4 yrs, but I know from my own childhood that my easy child deserved a safe happy home.</p><p></p><p>Her road has been hard. There is only 15 mths age difference between them, so they know most of the same people.</p><p></p><p>It was not fair to her to live in chaos. She deserves better and I would not allow her brother to take that away.</p><p></p><p>I resented alot of things my parents did. I understand through my own difficult child that they did what they thought was best.</p><p></p><p>My college fund was spent on my bro's last drug treatment.</p><p></p><p>I guess something like that sticks with you, it makes you vow to never do anything like that to your own children.</p><p></p><p>easy child's deserve safe homes. Maybe safe isn't the right word, they deserve a comfort that home brings. A place where everything is all right. It is hard enough being a teen in todays world, they should be able to come home and find rest and comfort in a loving place.</p><p>I couldn't provide that comfort place with difficult child out of control.</p><p>It wasn't comfortable with us all walking on eggshells so we wouldn't set off difficult child.</p><p></p><p>Then there is also the discipline. difficult child lived by his own rules and walked out when he didn't like what we said. I know easy child knows what we are dealing with, but how unfair for her?</p><p>She has the normal teen issues. She would be grounded for breaking the curfew or something and then here's her bro that disappears and we can't ground him, that will set him off and he will just run away.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I can say that we have a comfortable home again. difficult child knows nobody has to put up with his rages and he will be gone.</p><p>easy child knows that there is a line drawn and he is choosing not to cross it.</p><p>He is abiding by the curfews and she is not asking where is he?</p><p></p><p>It took many years and tears for this to happen.</p><p></p><p>But bottom line is my easy child deserved more than what she was getting from a shattered mom</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearthope, post: 29820, member: 2389"] My memories of growing up with a difficult child brother are painful. Not only did he drain my mother of all her emotions but all the drug treatments drained the pocketbooks as well. He was a gifted athelete. There was NOTHING that was going to stand in his way of a football career. My parents and his coaches exhausted every possible treatment to get him straight. The whole world revovled around him and his problems, there was nothing left for me or my much younger sister. I was given that same talented athlete in my son. He walked off the field on day and never looked back. The courage I have found to stand against him and his lifestyle comes from my easy child. She is the peace maker, she is the good student and an athlete in her own right. I made the choice to make her "right" choices override difficult child's wrong choices. It has been a long hard 4 yrs, but I know from my own childhood that my easy child deserved a safe happy home. Her road has been hard. There is only 15 mths age difference between them, so they know most of the same people. It was not fair to her to live in chaos. She deserves better and I would not allow her brother to take that away. I resented alot of things my parents did. I understand through my own difficult child that they did what they thought was best. My college fund was spent on my bro's last drug treatment. I guess something like that sticks with you, it makes you vow to never do anything like that to your own children. easy child's deserve safe homes. Maybe safe isn't the right word, they deserve a comfort that home brings. A place where everything is all right. It is hard enough being a teen in todays world, they should be able to come home and find rest and comfort in a loving place. I couldn't provide that comfort place with difficult child out of control. It wasn't comfortable with us all walking on eggshells so we wouldn't set off difficult child. Then there is also the discipline. difficult child lived by his own rules and walked out when he didn't like what we said. I know easy child knows what we are dealing with, but how unfair for her? She has the normal teen issues. She would be grounded for breaking the curfew or something and then here's her bro that disappears and we can't ground him, that will set him off and he will just run away. I can say that we have a comfortable home again. difficult child knows nobody has to put up with his rages and he will be gone. easy child knows that there is a line drawn and he is choosing not to cross it. He is abiding by the curfews and she is not asking where is he? It took many years and tears for this to happen. But bottom line is my easy child deserved more than what she was getting from a shattered mom [/QUOTE]
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