Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
opinions about no contact?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 746925" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Hi Acacia,</p><p></p><p>I don't have any wisdom or advice, but I will be reading others' replies. Hubs and I are in very different places in terms of interacting with our son. My therapist and I are exploring the possibility of going no contact for many reasons, including the ones you mention in your post.</p><p></p><p>The constant, bantering gamesmanship is so exhausting. The initial request on its surface may not be all that unreasonable, but things quickly snowball into "helping" far more than what was agreed, and far beyond what is reasonable for one adult to ask of another. If my son asked for his end game initially, the answer would be no. He knows that. Hence the games. It is a constant erosion of boundaries, and it is infuriating.</p><p></p><p>I see the same thing in your son. You told him not to contact you. His response was to call and call, then show up at your door. Perhaps it was even MORE trouble to get you to give him a ride to the grocery than it would have been to walk there himself...but he wanted to keep you in the game.</p><p></p><p>Forgive me if I am reading things into this encounter that aren't there, but it sound exactly like the kind of eroding boundaries stuff my son pulls.</p><p></p><p>I think it would be kinder and more respectful for all of us, including my son, if he knew not to expect anything other than moral support from us, period...sadly I think Hubs fears we would never hear from son again if "helping" him was off the table.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 746925, member: 17720"] Hi Acacia, I don't have any wisdom or advice, but I will be reading others' replies. Hubs and I are in very different places in terms of interacting with our son. My therapist and I are exploring the possibility of going no contact for many reasons, including the ones you mention in your post. The constant, bantering gamesmanship is so exhausting. The initial request on its surface may not be all that unreasonable, but things quickly snowball into "helping" far more than what was agreed, and far beyond what is reasonable for one adult to ask of another. If my son asked for his end game initially, the answer would be no. He knows that. Hence the games. It is a constant erosion of boundaries, and it is infuriating. I see the same thing in your son. You told him not to contact you. His response was to call and call, then show up at your door. Perhaps it was even MORE trouble to get you to give him a ride to the grocery than it would have been to walk there himself...but he wanted to keep you in the game. Forgive me if I am reading things into this encounter that aren't there, but it sound exactly like the kind of eroding boundaries stuff my son pulls. I think it would be kinder and more respectful for all of us, including my son, if he knew not to expect anything other than moral support from us, period...sadly I think Hubs fears we would never hear from son again if "helping" him was off the table. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
opinions about no contact?
Top