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opinions about no contact?
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 746993" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I am so sorry Acacia, when there are grands in the mix, it is an infinitely harder pill to swallow. Tornado was the same with my three, all or nothing. To use children as pawns is just, <em>evil</em>. </p><p>I don’t think any of us need feel ashamed when we cave. Shame does nothing but beat us up over and again for loving our adult kids. It is not easy to say no. Especially with extenuating circumstances. Illness, theirs or ours, extreme weather, loss of a loved one or pet, holidays. It seems in my case, when I am at a low point, that’s when I am faced with a phone call out of the blue, another challenge to my resolve. Their timing is impeccable. Gulp. The shame really belongs to our adult kids, who would abuse our love for them to continue their degraded lifestyle.</p><p>Detachment is a strong word. I use disentanglement. I feel I will always be attached to my children. That’s nature. I envision my twos addiction and consequences as a web that can ensnare me if I allow it. When I get caught up emotionally, lose focus, start over thinking things, I know the web is creeping up on me, trying to draw me back into old habits and ways, I have to step back and untangle those twisted knots.</p><p> We are human. We love our kids and want the best for them. Unfortunately, that love cannot convince them to make better choices, and they often use our love, at our <em>expense</em>, to ease their consequences. </p><p>This is tough stuff Acacia, don’t be so hard yourself. Hang in their sister, you got this and we are all standing with you.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 746993, member: 19522"] I am so sorry Acacia, when there are grands in the mix, it is an infinitely harder pill to swallow. Tornado was the same with my three, all or nothing. To use children as pawns is just, [I]evil[/I]. I don’t think any of us need feel ashamed when we cave. Shame does nothing but beat us up over and again for loving our adult kids. It is not easy to say no. Especially with extenuating circumstances. Illness, theirs or ours, extreme weather, loss of a loved one or pet, holidays. It seems in my case, when I am at a low point, that’s when I am faced with a phone call out of the blue, another challenge to my resolve. Their timing is impeccable. Gulp. The shame really belongs to our adult kids, who would abuse our love for them to continue their degraded lifestyle. Detachment is a strong word. I use disentanglement. I feel I will always be attached to my children. That’s nature. I envision my twos addiction and consequences as a web that can ensnare me if I allow it. When I get caught up emotionally, lose focus, start over thinking things, I know the web is creeping up on me, trying to draw me back into old habits and ways, I have to step back and untangle those twisted knots. We are human. We love our kids and want the best for them. Unfortunately, that love cannot convince them to make better choices, and they often use our love, at our [I]expense[/I], to ease their consequences. This is tough stuff Acacia, don’t be so hard yourself. Hang in their sister, you got this and we are all standing with you. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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