Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Oct 27, 2009.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    First off, let me apologize for not responding to many posts since I've returned from Florida. Things here have become overwhelming and I don't feel as though I'd be much help to anyone right now. I am keeping everyone in my prayers though.

    Where to start?

    *Well since this is general I'll start with difficult child. He has continued to struggle and has had many stw and problems at school as well.

    Yesterday we received noticed from the social worker who is his case manager of the county program he has been in for 18 months that difficult child's transition meeting is Wednesday (tomorrow)! The program only goes for 18 months and we can apply for an extension (up to 6 months which is hardly ever given-mostly only for those currently hospitalized). This is the program that provides us with respite-when it's gone so is respite and all of difficult child's summer camps:( by the way, the meeting is at 2:30 in the afternoon-no way husband or I can be there. husband is writing a letter and I'm going to make a phone conference appearance for about 10 minutes.

    *Onto easy child who once again is much more difficult child than easy child right now. Her day started off bad and ended up worse. I dropped her off at the gas station because we were later than 7:30 and she started screaming, calling me stupid, saying she wanted to kick me etc... I told her she had 3 seconds to get out of the car or I was taking off and she would be at my school with me. She got out and walked.

    After school she was mad when I brought up her treatment of me. Then husband was upset with how she was treating me. Also she has several forms to fill out for her scholarship program. She has known about this since September and the deadline is Friday. It is a lot of writing but nothing she can't do. husband was trying to guide her through it but she was being a pain about it and finally husband lost it and yelled at her telling her she was capable but needed not to be so lazy. She said since she was lazy she would just dig herself a hole and live in it. husband rarely yells but he is at the end of his rope right now with both easy child and difficult child (he even yelled at difficult child who was, of course, being a pita but then difficult child cried so hard he got a bloody nose). She has spent the night in her room curled up in a little ball.

    *husband is so stressed, his dad isn't doing very well, will be needing a serious surgery and possibly end up having his leg amputated. So husband is dealing with that and all of the stress the kids are putting on him as well.

    Thanks if you made it this far. I am feeling overwhelmed and a bit scared right now. I will be calling easy child's psychiatrist tomorrow. I don't know what else to do right now but I have a pit in the stomach feeling.
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I'm sorry things are so stressful right now. I have yet to figure out why it all seems to pile up at once like that...Hopefully they will even out soon.
  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    No wonder you are overwhelmed--I think anyone in your place would be, heck anyone with half of that going on would be overwhelmed.

    Try to do something for you if you at all can, no matter how small it is.
  4. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Very gentle {{{hugs}}} coming your way. :(
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sending hugs. Sorry things are so stressful and overwhelming.
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs. Hope things even out soon.
  7. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Don't ever feel like you need to apologize to us.

    I'm sorry things are so hard for your family right now.

  8. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    first of all - {{{{HUGS}}}}

    Fall has always been an overwhelming and disordered time in your home. It seems like both kids get Octoberitis - add to that the potential of the program ending for difficult child (which has been a life saver for you guys) and the medical concerns of father in law and it's no wonder you have a pit.

    The only thing I can tell you is what I try to do when I am overwhelmed. I take one of the issues and work on it - when that's either completed or started for someone else to complete, I begin to tackle the next one. Unfortunately, it sounds like with father in law, there is nothing you all can do but pray and be supportive of him and the family. With the funding, you can work your best to get that extension (difficult child is not hospitalized, but the goal of the program is certainly keeping him home and with the respite and support you have been able to do so - take this away and all bets are off - that's the route I would go).

    As far as the kids go - you and husband are great parents who always do your best for the kids - you will do that same now - doctor appts, stw, conversations, etc.

    Don't like to hear you so overwhelmed Sharon. I hope the light of day finds a little smile there somewhere.

  9. TPaul

    TPaul Idecor8

    Dear Sharon,
    Hope your trip went well, and glad you made it back safe. Hopefully things will settle down a bit very soon.

    To a better week
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sharon...Hugs. Soft ones.
  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    ((HUGS)) It's unfortunate that parents can't take a vacation to get over the vacation. LOL!

    When I'm overwhelmed, I have to make a list of the specific things I need to do and what I can do or check into that might ease the pain a little. Then, I just start muddling through it.

    I really hope you can continue getting some little relief and help with difficult child, one way or another.
  12. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    You need more of a break than most; I'm glad you had a wonderful weekend.

    All I can offer is that difficult child be placed voluntarily in a group/foster home. It took a great deal of stress off this family (other than the mtgs & such). Your difficult child reminds me a great deal of wm & you know that situation.

    Were we guilt ridden - you bet. However, it's been determined by all that this is the best move for wm & all concerned.

    We've had time to heal; kt has had time to grow & mature with-o her twin. Without the violence/physical/verbal & sexual aggression that wm brought into this house everyday.

    In the same right, the rest of your family needs this type of break; "a family of different addresses".

    I worry for you, your husband & your easy child who gets worse everytime your difficult child spirals. It's time to get the county involved in this more than offering 180 days of respite & such.

    It's time for you & the rest of you to have a life. We got to interview the foster mum & dad & tour the home - we work together well. We give each other hugs as we come & go. It's family

    Just something for you to consider...... I worry for your health.
  13. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    As everywoman says
    Part of me wants to say "off with their heads"(just joking of course). Somehow, that one card on Mother's Day just doesn't cut it. LOL.

    I think breaking things down into manageable tasks is the only way to get over overwhelming situations.
  14. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    EW-The million dollar question-why all at once?! I even forgot to add my mom is having a cscan of her kidneys and bladder on Friday for an infection that has been there for over month. Thanks for the good wishes on things evening out:)

    CM-Thanks for the suggestion about doing something good for myself-I need to get back to the health club!

    TM, Susie, Mary, and Heather-Thanks for the much needed hugs.

    Sharon-Thanks for the good ideas and for the kind words. My class gave me plenty to smile about today-they are such a great group.

    TPaul-Thanks for the good wishes.

    Janet and K-thanks for the hugs.

    Linda-Thanks for the good ideas and the phone call-I really needed that conversation tonight-Hugs:)

    Fran-Thanks for making me laugh today:) I needed that too!

    I did get an appointment. made with easy child's psychiatrist for Monday afternoon so hopefully that will help some. I wonder if maybe a grain of what was said last night sunk in. She actually filled out a job application today. She is still in a mood but maybe angry enough to do something about it now (one can hope)?

    It's husband's birthday and we were going to go to a late movie but difficult child is still wide awake which meant a no go. We're starting to wonder if he somehow hid some of his medications because he is never up this long after taking them!

    We did get a two month extension on the county program he is involved in-don't know what will happen after that!