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General Parenting
Pain in the behind ... another parents difficult child is causing me to meltdown....
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 358462" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>He may be newer to GFGdom than kt, and so his mother is less familiar with the problems you cause when you believe the lies.</p><p></p><p>Put it in writing. Even if you don't ever show it to anybody, it can help 'gel' ideas.</p><p></p><p>He's doing X, saying Y. He says you are saying Z but you are saying X. WHy would you lie? Look at it form his mother's point of view, what does SHE think you're up to? Now find the chink in the logic of this, and puncture it with your own response.</p><p></p><p>If you choose to then go to her and say, "Here is the problem. You asked me to be upfront with you. I was. This is a problem for me because. It has now become a problem for you because. Neither of us need the added hassle of these problems, but we each have kids who add chaos to our lives. I've been doing this for a long time and also have other demands on my very limited energies. Now, we could work as a team, and each recognise that we need to get independent verification NOT from our kids as to what is really going on - or we could continue as we are and not achieve anything. I want to work with you. In order to do this, you need to listen to the people around your son, as I already listen to the people around my daughter. Remember what Judge Judy says about how you know a teenager is lying to you - their lips are moving."</p><p></p><p>If she still won't play ball, walk away and don't tell her again. She doesn't really want to know. Not just yet. But she will. Because her son won't always be obsessed with kt. It will be another girl soon enough. ANd then she will realise that YOU are not her problem.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 358462, member: 1991"] He may be newer to GFGdom than kt, and so his mother is less familiar with the problems you cause when you believe the lies. Put it in writing. Even if you don't ever show it to anybody, it can help 'gel' ideas. He's doing X, saying Y. He says you are saying Z but you are saying X. WHy would you lie? Look at it form his mother's point of view, what does SHE think you're up to? Now find the chink in the logic of this, and puncture it with your own response. If you choose to then go to her and say, "Here is the problem. You asked me to be upfront with you. I was. This is a problem for me because. It has now become a problem for you because. Neither of us need the added hassle of these problems, but we each have kids who add chaos to our lives. I've been doing this for a long time and also have other demands on my very limited energies. Now, we could work as a team, and each recognise that we need to get independent verification NOT from our kids as to what is really going on - or we could continue as we are and not achieve anything. I want to work with you. In order to do this, you need to listen to the people around your son, as I already listen to the people around my daughter. Remember what Judge Judy says about how you know a teenager is lying to you - their lips are moving." If she still won't play ball, walk away and don't tell her again. She doesn't really want to know. Not just yet. But she will. Because her son won't always be obsessed with kt. It will be another girl soon enough. ANd then she will realise that YOU are not her problem. Marg [/QUOTE]
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Pain in the behind ... another parents difficult child is causing me to meltdown....
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