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Painful Struggles
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 599635" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>I had an abusive marriage as well. I married young and found out years later about the drug and alcohol abuse. He was not in my difficult child's life very much, just enough to cause more problems. Sadly, my difficult child son is just like his father! Mine was always difficult and I had him in as many programs I could find and afford. Once, he was in a in house behavior program for a month, twice court ordered rehab.</p><p></p><p>Mine stole, and helped his friends steal, once completely wiping out my apartment. My saving grace was being transferred about 1 hour away.</p><p></p><p>He is currently in a relationship with another difficult child and I had to call the police to stop her harassment. She wanted money and she wanted to call me every time they had a fight, which was a lot lol. He threatens suicide, cuts himself, and I did call the police (they live in another state thank heavens) and he told them he was not suicidal. The last time she came after him with a knife in a drunken rage and I spent $ to help him relocate and start over. This was after I found out about the 4 to 5 month conn where I was told he was homeless and I was trying to help him, it was all a lie, they were using my money to party.</p><p></p><p>In November I had an idea they were back together - he denies it - but kept asking for money. This time I said no and meant it - before I would cave in after thinking about him being hungry. He told me he would steal and I could visit him in prison and he would kill himself if I didn't send him money.</p><p></p><p>I'm tired of it, he actually went no contact with me, but until he actually makes an effort to get his life together I really don't want to deal with him. I love my son, and I still have my sad days, I'm over the guilt, and I believe with all my heart that there is nothing I can do to help him. </p><p></p><p>It is completely out of our control. I have been in therapy and I recommend it, read all of the books out there, post on the forum, cry if it makes you feel better. I stay busy with hobbies, exercise, meditation etc.</p><p></p><p>Many of my family members don't quite get 'it' so I don't discuss in detail what's going on. His sister is aware and my husband. Learn to detach and learn to take care of YOU, you deserve it.</p><p></p><p>Regardless of the reason for their problems I now know that all of my 'helping' did nothing to help - only made my health worse. Stay strong and do not let her abuse you one more minute. The members of this forum understand so well what you are going through.</p><p>(((hugs and blessings for us all)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 599635, member: 13558"] I had an abusive marriage as well. I married young and found out years later about the drug and alcohol abuse. He was not in my difficult child's life very much, just enough to cause more problems. Sadly, my difficult child son is just like his father! Mine was always difficult and I had him in as many programs I could find and afford. Once, he was in a in house behavior program for a month, twice court ordered rehab. Mine stole, and helped his friends steal, once completely wiping out my apartment. My saving grace was being transferred about 1 hour away. He is currently in a relationship with another difficult child and I had to call the police to stop her harassment. She wanted money and she wanted to call me every time they had a fight, which was a lot lol. He threatens suicide, cuts himself, and I did call the police (they live in another state thank heavens) and he told them he was not suicidal. The last time she came after him with a knife in a drunken rage and I spent $ to help him relocate and start over. This was after I found out about the 4 to 5 month conn where I was told he was homeless and I was trying to help him, it was all a lie, they were using my money to party. In November I had an idea they were back together - he denies it - but kept asking for money. This time I said no and meant it - before I would cave in after thinking about him being hungry. He told me he would steal and I could visit him in prison and he would kill himself if I didn't send him money. I'm tired of it, he actually went no contact with me, but until he actually makes an effort to get his life together I really don't want to deal with him. I love my son, and I still have my sad days, I'm over the guilt, and I believe with all my heart that there is nothing I can do to help him. It is completely out of our control. I have been in therapy and I recommend it, read all of the books out there, post on the forum, cry if it makes you feel better. I stay busy with hobbies, exercise, meditation etc. Many of my family members don't quite get 'it' so I don't discuss in detail what's going on. His sister is aware and my husband. Learn to detach and learn to take care of YOU, you deserve it. Regardless of the reason for their problems I now know that all of my 'helping' did nothing to help - only made my health worse. Stay strong and do not let her abuse you one more minute. The members of this forum understand so well what you are going through. (((hugs and blessings for us all))) [/QUOTE]
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