Panicing-please advise!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Arttillygirl, Apr 4, 2007.

  1. Arttillygirl

    Arttillygirl New Member

    This is the gal from the Please Advise before my son gets home.

    I thought everything was going rather well until I just saw on his computer a "suicide" song.

    He composed a song where you hear applause, footsteps, heartbeat, applause then a gunshot, a body fall, applause.

    I am terrified! It sounds like the Eminem song where he shoots the audience.

    He's had some difficulties with fellow students lately and is on an antidepressant.

    He's 15 and I have called his psychologist but haven't located a psychiatrist yet.

    Should I panic?

    He has written suicide lyrics lately too.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    Is this his own writing or did he download the song? Google the lyrics with a phrase in quotes to find out.

    What does his psychologist say?

    I am of two minds here on if I would panic to be honest. On the one hand I cant help thinking to print this thing, download it and rush his behind to the nearest ER. On the other hand, my son prances around the house making up some of the most god awful rapping songs you ever heard in your life. They are so graphic that if he could get them out to someone they would probably sell Its the popular culture these days.

    Ugh...I guess I would err on the side of caution. He does need to know that talk of suicide...even in jest, is not something that is to be taken lightly. But do google those words to be sure he didnt just copy it.
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Well-Known Member

    I don't know if I would panic, but my son would be getting an evaluation asap due to his being on an AD and possible suicidal ideation. I would take no risks with this. Here's some info on Vivactil:
    The risk of suicidal thinking and behavior was increased by antidepressant use in short-term studies in children and adolescents with certain psychiatric disorders. Anyone considering the use of Vivactil or any other antidepressant in a child or adolescent must balance this risk with the clinical need. Patients who are started on Vivactil should be watched closely for worsening of symptoms, suicidal thoughts and behavior, or unusual behavior changes. Families and caregivers should be aware of the need for close observation of the patient and communication with the doctor.

    Results from several studies in children and adolescents with certain psychiatric disorders have shown a greater risk of side effects related to suicidal thinking and behavior during the first few months of treatment with antidepressants
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I would definitely take this seriously. Hopefully his psychologist will call you soon, if not put another call in to him/her. He really should be seen by someone very soon in order to evaluate the situation.


    P.S. On second thought, find a psychiatrist today. There has to be one in your area that deals with adolescents. Do you have a children's hospital near you? You can start there. I know many here feel that the kind of music he is listening to is OK. It's my opinion that that music may not do harm to teens who are not troubled but it sounds like your son is troubled. I went through much the same with my daughter two years ago. The music she was listening to and the poems she was writing had us alarmed and the school. by the way it was a parochial school also. I did not feel comfortable until we had her evaluated several times by our psychiatrist and he did not feel she would harm herself or anyone else.

    Take care. I know this is a very difficult time for you. It is normal for teens to push back when they feel their privacy is invaded but I also felt it was my duty as a parent to keep her safe. I was never comfortable with allowing my difficult child to do certain things that I thought were harmful to her, even if it was typical teen behavior. Our difficult child was never typical. Like my husband always says, other teens can drink and experiment with drugs and will come through it fine because they are typical teens. Ours is a difficult child and therin lies the difference.
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I can understand your panic. So much depends on the relationship
    comfort level. Obviously he has been at war with the rules and
    restrictions up until four or five days ago. There is valid reason to worry about antidepressant influence. on the other hand, scads of
    teens write and say dramatic things with no sincere intent to do

    You and your husband are captains of the ship. You will have to make
    the decision. Keep us informed and feel free to post as many times as necessary to maintain your sense of sanity and balance.
    We will support you in any way we can. Sending prayers & hugs.
  6. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I would go to ER with the song lyrics. Bring a notebook with and jot down all the suicidal statements he has made in the last few days. They should be able to help you.
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I would also skip the psycologist go to ER. And all antidepressants have black box warnings for kids under 18--THEY CAN CAUSE SUICIDE AND VIOLENCE!!! My daughter was put on Prozac and she pulled a knife on herself. Please take it VERY seriously. In a case like this, in my opinion, it's better to be safe than sorry and have the child do something he can't take care. Hugs and good luck.
  8. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I agree with taking this seriously. If the psychologist can't help you locate a psychiatrist for an emergency visit, then I agree with a trip to the ER. You don't want to leave anything to chance. I have two children who had very scary reactions to antidepressants. It happens far too often. Good luck.
  9. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Do make sure you check out the lyrics first (Google a chunk of definitive text first, keep deleting a letter or word if you get no hits, or check spelling). But I agree, you can't ignore this. Can you talk to him about it? I would ask him if he did write those lyrics, because if you're not sure if it's actually a song already in existence, then clearly he has talent in expressing himself which, incidentally, is darned good therapy - if he wrote this himself as part of his own coping strategy it is a very good thing for him to have done.

    If he did write this himself, congratulate him on very talented, effective writing. Ask him if he has considered submitting it somewhere for evaluation because it's really so good it seems so real. Then you can move into - how could he write so effectively without actually feeling this way himself sometimes? If you have to, be honest about your own past feelings of depression - it's no shame to admit to it, privately with someone you're close to. Hopefully you could help him accept consulting an expert about these feelings to stave off too much having to deal with such overwhelming distress.

    But if this doesn't sound likely, then drag him in to see someone, taking a copy of the lyrics with you.

    Just don't let it lie. It sounds like he IS trying to cope, but he might have too much to struggle against. or he might be winning the fight. You don't know which it is and it would be tragic if you were wrong.

  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I know these types of lyrics are part of the pop culture right now.

    Personally, I wouldn't panic. But I would make certain doctor knows and would probably run his fanny straight to the ER. It is possible it is the medications. It is possible he is truely suicidal. It is possible he just downloaded these lyrics onto his computer.

    I would err on the side of caution.

  11. Arttillygirl

    Arttillygirl New Member

    We got a hold of the psychologist. He said he asked him pointblank if he was suicidal. He said no he just wanted to run away-but that didn't work out too well.

    There were no lyrics, just what I described before. The song was called suicide. He said I know it sounds strange but it was supposed to be funny. His lyrics were deleted.

    I did find a psychiatrist and we see him Monday morning.

    We also got a call from a teacher regarding talking, conveying beligerence, etc.

    husband kinda lost it. I've had a migraine all day.

    Do you all think it's safe to stop these medications? Wait till Monday?
  12. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    All antidepressants must be weaned gradually, or you face severe side effects. I would never stop an AD without the guidance of a doctor.
  13. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member


    He just wants to run away. Could he be trying to get your goat? I would leave things as they are until monday.
  14. Hanging-On

    Hanging-On New Member

    I think I'd be very concerned and copy it, and take him to see someone asap.

    About the music, I have not only stopped all cable & antena tv in the house, but i don't let the boys listen to anything rap or modern. I only have cd's and dvd's. i know my boys are much younger, so this may be easy now. but when they're older I'm still going to prohibit this junk. I know it can be done, cuz my cousins were prohited from listening to rock, and watching trash tv, when we were growing up. At the time, I thought it was weird, but as a parent I think it's a good idea. Back then the songs were about "free love, and drugs". Today it's about killing yourself, or others. Not the same thing.
  15. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I have to say my difficult child did a lot of this to get attention, from her friends, from biys,from us, from whoever she could. She would tell boys that she hated her life, hated us, and was going to kill herself. She thought this would get them to feel sorry for her and somehow get her the attention she wanted. Instead she got told on, sent to the ER, and kids made fun of her. But we had to take her seriously.

    I'm so glad you have found a psychiatrist and have an appointment. I agree I wouldn't change any medications until you've seen him.

    I'll be watching for an update. I hope things settle down for you.

  16. mattsmum

    mattsmum New Member

    Marguerite gave excellent advice in how to approach the subject with your son. I would take it seriously.
  17. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I would leave things as they are until you see the doctor. It's not a good idea to discontinue medications on your own. Glad you found one by the way.

    I hope you've found relief for the migraine. Sounds like it's time for you to get some "me" time.

  18. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I would take it seriously to the point of not leaving him alone. In other words, do not remove any medications without doctor's advise, do not discipline or berate him right now, and keep an eye on him until the doctor appointment on Monday.

  19. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    You need to wean off antidepressants. Taking them away abruptly can even be worse. Please make sure the Psychiatrist helps you. We always took any talk of suicide very seriously, maybe because we knew a kid who actually did it. Take care.
  20. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Did he delete the lyrics or did you? There is a big difference.

    by the way, since you have a few days free before the appointment may
    I suggest that you take time to fill in a Parents Report to take
    with you? It will not only help the Dr. but it will also help you get a more objective picture of what is going on in your family and in particularly with your son. It sure can't hurt!