Parent Attachment/conflicting opinions from school


New Member
My difficult child has a behavior plan in place and I have seen improvement since it began.

the principal has said she sees improvement.

when we are in meetings the teachers agree with her that they see improvement.

when she is unable to attend meetings and sends the asst principal he says there is no improvement, plan is not working, and whatever teacher is in attendance voices their agreement with him that plan is not working.

it's like they are all very wishy washy and agree with whichever of their superiors is able to attend the meeting.

I have had a few notes from a few teachers that mention excellent behavior from difficult child since the start of the plan.

the other teachers never seemed to have an opinion one way or the other.

now they want to take away the behavior plan.
I want to keep it.
what can I do?


I've personally had this happen many times. It contributed to the errosion of my former automatically conveyed respect and trust of education professionals.

The teachers are not making independent decisions. They are taking their cues from the unofficial Committee Chair. I try to keep in mind that the teacher's job could be on the line and s/he has kids to feed -- but can't honestly say that it helps my frame of mind a whole lot.

Take a Parent Attachment to every meeting. will tell you why. Scroll down to the bottom of the page to find the Parent Attachment form at .

I put the Parent Attachment in a word processing program - very handy. One of the items you'll want to put under the Proposal column is:

"Feedback from educators confirm difficult child is showing improvement with the behavior plan. Continue use of behavior plan."

You fill out the form. Don't forget to get a copy made for your records; leave the original whoever is acting as Committee Chair.

There are several approaches to handling this you can consider.

1) Call the principal and tell her what's going on. You may want to request that she sit-in for the Asst. Principal. For example, "I'd like to reschedule difficult child's IEP meeting for a time when you can attend in place of Asst. Principal."

2) Record the IEP meeting. It can put a damper on the free exchange of a true committee, however, it cuts a lot of the misinformation.

3) Always keep in mind that no matter how many people attend the meeting, there are 2 votes -- one for the school district, one for the parent(s). If you do not agree with-the sd members, announce that you do not agree and are requesting Mediation. (Mediation is at sd expense.)


New Member
thank you Shiela. I had been looking at wrights law just this morning. I appreciate knowing you have experienced this yourself. Because I have started to question if I am losing my mind.