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Parent Emeritus
Parents of Estranged Children: Help and Healing
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 655026" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I read on one site for adult children who had cut out their parents a bunch of indignant adult children who had read a site for estranged parents. They were very cruel and ridiculed them and asked, "Gee, I wonder why we are not in contact with you." I wanted to chime in that some adult kids are no contact because they were angry that their parents set boundaries regarding this drug abuse, their asking for money, and their not paying their bail, but I didn't. These young adults made my blood run cold. I have no idea why they were no contact with their parents, but they sure didn't seem to have any caring at all in their hearts.</p><p></p><p>I do think we have to do better than that. We are older. We have lived longer. We can gently detach from unacceptable behavior without acting like we hate our adult children, and we don't. I know some parents act like criminals too and are abusive, but I don't think all of them are and I do think we all need to learn that everybody makes mistakes. I have to remember this myself when I talk about my own mother who did abuse me. Heck, she wasn't all bad. She was bad to ME, but she was pretty kind to my siblings. What good does it do to hate? I don't like the emotion. It is counterproductive and bad energy on our souls.</p><p></p><p>THanks for the good reminder, Tanya. It's easy to get caught up in bad feelings when you've been hurt. I guess some of us, like me, have to try harder. I am going to read the book you read. As religious as Goneboy is...he does need our prayers. One can never send enough prayers, even if you don't ever see that person again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 655026, member: 1550"] I read on one site for adult children who had cut out their parents a bunch of indignant adult children who had read a site for estranged parents. They were very cruel and ridiculed them and asked, "Gee, I wonder why we are not in contact with you." I wanted to chime in that some adult kids are no contact because they were angry that their parents set boundaries regarding this drug abuse, their asking for money, and their not paying their bail, but I didn't. These young adults made my blood run cold. I have no idea why they were no contact with their parents, but they sure didn't seem to have any caring at all in their hearts. I do think we have to do better than that. We are older. We have lived longer. We can gently detach from unacceptable behavior without acting like we hate our adult children, and we don't. I know some parents act like criminals too and are abusive, but I don't think all of them are and I do think we all need to learn that everybody makes mistakes. I have to remember this myself when I talk about my own mother who did abuse me. Heck, she wasn't all bad. She was bad to ME, but she was pretty kind to my siblings. What good does it do to hate? I don't like the emotion. It is counterproductive and bad energy on our souls. THanks for the good reminder, Tanya. It's easy to get caught up in bad feelings when you've been hurt. I guess some of us, like me, have to try harder. I am going to read the book you read. As religious as Goneboy is...he does need our prayers. One can never send enough prayers, even if you don't ever see that person again. [/QUOTE]
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