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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Parents, please help me!!
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<blockquote data-quote="recovering doormat" data-source="post: 252123" data-attributes="member: 5941"><p>not much to add to what everywoman just posted, but I think parental guilt has a lot to with it ("I raised him so if he's a damaged it's my fault and I have to fix it" - kind of like, you broke it, you own it). I also thought if I loved my two older kids enough they would see the light, and get better on their own. I have come to learn that it doesn't work that way.</p><p> </p><p>I am sorry for the angst and anxiety this is causing in your family. Organizations like Nar-Anon and Al-Anon are supposed to be very good at helping the parents of addicts stop enabling. </p><p> </p><p>Does your mother have a clergy-person she respects who might speak to her? Does she have an attorney? I don't know how old she is, but when an older parent is being financially victimized by a relative sometimes your city department of aging (or any nonprofit agency that helps senior citizens) might have an advocate who can help your mom protect at least some of her assets so your brother doesn't bleed her dry. </p><p> </p><p>This is so awful. Bottom line, you're mom has to agree to stop helping him, but if an outside person speaks to her it might get her attention the way you and your siblings aren't able to.</p><p> </p><p>Good luck to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recovering doormat, post: 252123, member: 5941"] not much to add to what everywoman just posted, but I think parental guilt has a lot to with it ("I raised him so if he's a damaged it's my fault and I have to fix it" - kind of like, you broke it, you own it). I also thought if I loved my two older kids enough they would see the light, and get better on their own. I have come to learn that it doesn't work that way. I am sorry for the angst and anxiety this is causing in your family. Organizations like Nar-Anon and Al-Anon are supposed to be very good at helping the parents of addicts stop enabling. Does your mother have a clergy-person she respects who might speak to her? Does she have an attorney? I don't know how old she is, but when an older parent is being financially victimized by a relative sometimes your city department of aging (or any nonprofit agency that helps senior citizens) might have an advocate who can help your mom protect at least some of her assets so your brother doesn't bleed her dry. This is so awful. Bottom line, you're mom has to agree to stop helping him, but if an outside person speaks to her it might get her attention the way you and your siblings aren't able to. Good luck to you. [/QUOTE]
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Parents, please help me!!
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