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Parents refuse to be around my husband...
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 136393" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>There's a really good book I recommend reading -- "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans. Your husband's manipulations and tantrums are all forms of verbal abuse. And abuse is abuse. He's just getting away with it because he's not physically hitting you. The book gives great examples of how to stop the abuser in their tracks with things you can say or do (like not taking the bait).</p><p> </p><p>My husband was notorious for his hissy fits during stressful times and even times when you wouldn't think it was stressful, but in his mind something was causing him to feel anxious -- usually it had to do with his performance or how others perceived him.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, long story short, he started Lamictal in December for seizures (and it's also used as a mood stabilizer) and he magically became a much calmer, more rational, less reactive man who is generally happier and less obsessive in his daily life. So putting 2 and 2 together, I figure he has a mood disorder and I've told him as much. I couldn't tell him that before -- he would have flipped out. But now I think he's seeing the truth in it.</p><p> </p><p>If your husband will go for the therapy -- jump on it. I would recommend you go to your own therapy separately. It won't do the two of you any good to work on your issues as a couple until you get your personal issues ironed out first.</p><p> </p><p>{{{{{HUGS}}}}}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 136393, member: 3444"] There's a really good book I recommend reading -- "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans. Your husband's manipulations and tantrums are all forms of verbal abuse. And abuse is abuse. He's just getting away with it because he's not physically hitting you. The book gives great examples of how to stop the abuser in their tracks with things you can say or do (like not taking the bait). My husband was notorious for his hissy fits during stressful times and even times when you wouldn't think it was stressful, but in his mind something was causing him to feel anxious -- usually it had to do with his performance or how others perceived him. Anyway, long story short, he started Lamictal in December for seizures (and it's also used as a mood stabilizer) and he magically became a much calmer, more rational, less reactive man who is generally happier and less obsessive in his daily life. So putting 2 and 2 together, I figure he has a mood disorder and I've told him as much. I couldn't tell him that before -- he would have flipped out. But now I think he's seeing the truth in it. If your husband will go for the therapy -- jump on it. I would recommend you go to your own therapy separately. It won't do the two of you any good to work on your issues as a couple until you get your personal issues ironed out first. {{{{{HUGS}}}}} [/QUOTE]
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Parents refuse to be around my husband...
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