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Parents refuse to be around my husband...
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 136606" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>WNC, these are big red flags for me. I agree with Heather that there is open hostility here, and a large dose of manipulation.</p><p></p><p>My exH used to say things like that, </p><p>"I'm really sorry that I blew up, but you made me so angry I just couldn't control myself." </p><p>OR</p><p>"With all the studying I had to do, I was under so much pressure and you asking me to help around the house just took me to the breaking point"</p><p></p><p>Notice the pattern? In all cases, he was apologizing but it was still my fault. Then family and friends became "bad influences", "not the right sort of people" or whatever. He was trying to isolate me from my support network. </p><p>I tried the therapy road with him, tried to fix it, make everything better. Gave it my best shot. The first time he raised a fist to me, I decked him, packed my bag and left. We did try to patch it up one more time, but I knew it was over.</p><p></p><p>Please do whatever is the right choice for you. I agree that the steps you're taking, the books etc. will all help you to figure that out, but please be careful and keep your eyes open. It sounds like the situation is escalating. Whether your H is depressed or not, it's no excuse to treat you the way he's been treating you.</p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 136606, member: 3907"] WNC, these are big red flags for me. I agree with Heather that there is open hostility here, and a large dose of manipulation. My exH used to say things like that, "I'm really sorry that I blew up, but you made me so angry I just couldn't control myself." OR "With all the studying I had to do, I was under so much pressure and you asking me to help around the house just took me to the breaking point" Notice the pattern? In all cases, he was apologizing but it was still my fault. Then family and friends became "bad influences", "not the right sort of people" or whatever. He was trying to isolate me from my support network. I tried the therapy road with him, tried to fix it, make everything better. Gave it my best shot. The first time he raised a fist to me, I decked him, packed my bag and left. We did try to patch it up one more time, but I knew it was over. Please do whatever is the right choice for you. I agree that the steps you're taking, the books etc. will all help you to figure that out, but please be careful and keep your eyes open. It sounds like the situation is escalating. Whether your H is depressed or not, it's no excuse to treat you the way he's been treating you. Trinity [/QUOTE]
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