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<blockquote data-quote="Master Holepatcher" data-source="post: 275764" data-attributes="member: 7449"><p>Thank you all for your kind words - I know I signed up for a lot when I married into the family, but at the same time I was incredibly naive when it came to all of this. I truely believed at that time that they just needed love and structure... it wasn't until I got into the picture that they received any help. Their Dad was in denial for a while and each of their biological parents and grandparents were so busy pointing fingers that it never occured to anyone to take them to a Dr.</p><p> </p><p>It took me 6 months of arguing with all of them before they would allow me to take them to a Dr... most of their family is still in denial and thinks that I'm the crazy one - my favorite line is "They're just little boys, they are supposed to act like that." I honestly believe that in addition to the drugs and alcohol done while they were in the womb, that there are significant mental issues on both sides of the family, and they all give off a severe anti-authority vibe. Many of the extended family members have spent time in prison, AA, rehabs etc. So they both have several strikes against them already in that respect.</p><p> </p><p>Their dad tries, but he wasn't raised in a healthy family and really needs therapy himself however he refuses to entertain that notion. </p><p> </p><p>The part that is really frustrating is when a parent knows that their child needs help, but there is no way to pay for that help. I mean we both work, but we make just enough so that we dont qualify for any kind of aid or assistance - We finally got them to consider him for disability, I didn't want it for the money so much as the status to help us with our ever going battle with the school systems. But it looks like they intend to send him about $100 a month, which will at least help defray the $400 a month in medications alone we spend (and that's WITH insurance).</p><p> </p><p>And to clarify the "Reprogramming" that is my word, I had to use it to try to explain to my husband that they wanted to do. The plan is intensive therapy and re-education on basic social skills and functioning within the limits of society. We've also considered a wilderness program - I don't know how much those cost, but from what the therapists have explained it sounds like he might actually benefit from something like that. I just dont' see where people get the money from to be able to help their kids the way they need to. I love him too much to let him continue down the track he's on, but I can't be the one to save him since he won't let me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Master Holepatcher, post: 275764, member: 7449"] Thank you all for your kind words - I know I signed up for a lot when I married into the family, but at the same time I was incredibly naive when it came to all of this. I truely believed at that time that they just needed love and structure... it wasn't until I got into the picture that they received any help. Their Dad was in denial for a while and each of their biological parents and grandparents were so busy pointing fingers that it never occured to anyone to take them to a Dr. It took me 6 months of arguing with all of them before they would allow me to take them to a Dr... most of their family is still in denial and thinks that I'm the crazy one - my favorite line is "They're just little boys, they are supposed to act like that." I honestly believe that in addition to the drugs and alcohol done while they were in the womb, that there are significant mental issues on both sides of the family, and they all give off a severe anti-authority vibe. Many of the extended family members have spent time in prison, AA, rehabs etc. So they both have several strikes against them already in that respect. Their dad tries, but he wasn't raised in a healthy family and really needs therapy himself however he refuses to entertain that notion. The part that is really frustrating is when a parent knows that their child needs help, but there is no way to pay for that help. I mean we both work, but we make just enough so that we dont qualify for any kind of aid or assistance - We finally got them to consider him for disability, I didn't want it for the money so much as the status to help us with our ever going battle with the school systems. But it looks like they intend to send him about $100 a month, which will at least help defray the $400 a month in medications alone we spend (and that's WITH insurance). And to clarify the "Reprogramming" that is my word, I had to use it to try to explain to my husband that they wanted to do. The plan is intensive therapy and re-education on basic social skills and functioning within the limits of society. We've also considered a wilderness program - I don't know how much those cost, but from what the therapists have explained it sounds like he might actually benefit from something like that. I just dont' see where people get the money from to be able to help their kids the way they need to. I love him too much to let him continue down the track he's on, but I can't be the one to save him since he won't let me. [/QUOTE]
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