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PDr accuses difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 94519" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>WOW! That's really something. I would think that a person who deals with children who have behavioral challenges would know to have adequate insurance on their car. </p><p></p><p>As far as all the "other" patients want to be there? HOG WASH. Did she take a poll? I just bet 25 other teenage girls with problems remind their Mom's the morning of therapy that they HAVE to go to the psychiatrist today. </p><p></p><p>This woman is in need of help herself. If she DID see your difficult child do it, or had a witness, or had it on tape - that would be one thing, even then I would think as a physician she would want to talk to difficult child about why she was so angry. If difficult child did do it. IF is a big word. </p><p></p><p>And to answer your question does my kid like to go. (Rolling on the floor like a hyena laughing...oh ow...) NO. But then after 11 years of being questioned like a prisoner of war - we finally did find one man that was NOT intimidated by our difficult child. difficult child broke his chair on the third of fourth visit. I was mortified. They looked very expensive. I did offer to repair/replace it and he looked at difficult child and said "Dude, why are you so angry? Do you know what made you take out your frustrations on the chair? Can you talk to me about it a little more so I can get an idea of how to help?" and difficult child fired back with a bunch of stuff that to you or me sounded like "I )#($*)#(_!@) HATE(#*)(#*$)(@#$) AND I #($)#(@*$ YOU)#($*)@#($* TOO @#)($@#)($ doctor. </p><p></p><p>With that - The doctor looked at Dude and said "GOOD! VERY GOOD DUDE" and it just took the rug out from under his feet. There were days when he didn't want to go, we would have to chase him and stuff him in the car or van or put him in the van and then sit by the door. But we did NOT miss an appointment because we believed that what was going on in the psychiatrists office was the only thing that helped our son. Getting him there was a small part of the battle, keeping him in session was up to the doctor and sometimes Dude just got up and left so we let him go and we sat and talked. The man was incredible. After 41/2 years of going even when difficult child was in a local Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - we took him there every week and went for family therapy 1x a week too. At the end of our time with him difficult child was opening up and finally told about the abuse he suffered. It was horrible and wonderful at the same time because we finally KNEW what had made difficult child mad for 11 years, but the best part was that difficult child finally VERBALIZED it out loud. </p><p></p><p>The problem with it all unfortunately was that difficult child moved to a group home out of town. He was encouraged to get help elsewhere but hasn't yet. Said he would but when I talked to him - he said he just could NOT talk to one more person about what happened. That Dr. H was it. He'd go back and talk to him - but only him. </p><p></p><p>So in the end? After years of not wanting to go - he did end up liking him and talking to him and sometimes said nothing at all and just played checkers or just sat and listened to the doctor talk. </p><p></p><p>The important thing is for you to like who you go see, AND to make the commitment to go. If your daughter won't go, and you won't force her - then YOU go and talk to the psychiatrist in her place. I did - about how embarrassed I was that difficult child wasn't there or how stubborn he was because I am the parent yet he refused to get in the car. I found solace in the time I had with him and eventually went on my own. It made me a better parent, I learned how not to be a door mat, how to turn off my voice, how to NOT accept hitting as a communication effort, and I found my courage to do things like call the police and send a permanent and lasting message that I will be treated with respect. </p><p></p><p>I ignored a lot - I learned how. The things I couldn't and shouldn't ignore - I learned how to do what I had to do to be the best Mom I could be. No regrets. AND it will make difficult child a little more likely to seek out help in the future. </p><p></p><p>Good luck - welcome to the board</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 94519, member: 4964"] WOW! That's really something. I would think that a person who deals with children who have behavioral challenges would know to have adequate insurance on their car. As far as all the "other" patients want to be there? HOG WASH. Did she take a poll? I just bet 25 other teenage girls with problems remind their Mom's the morning of therapy that they HAVE to go to the psychiatrist today. This woman is in need of help herself. If she DID see your difficult child do it, or had a witness, or had it on tape - that would be one thing, even then I would think as a physician she would want to talk to difficult child about why she was so angry. If difficult child did do it. IF is a big word. And to answer your question does my kid like to go. (Rolling on the floor like a hyena laughing...oh ow...) NO. But then after 11 years of being questioned like a prisoner of war - we finally did find one man that was NOT intimidated by our difficult child. difficult child broke his chair on the third of fourth visit. I was mortified. They looked very expensive. I did offer to repair/replace it and he looked at difficult child and said "Dude, why are you so angry? Do you know what made you take out your frustrations on the chair? Can you talk to me about it a little more so I can get an idea of how to help?" and difficult child fired back with a bunch of stuff that to you or me sounded like "I )#($*)#(_!@) HATE(#*)(#*$)(@#$) AND I #($)#(@*$ YOU)#($*)@#($* TOO @#)($@#)($ doctor. With that - The doctor looked at Dude and said "GOOD! VERY GOOD DUDE" and it just took the rug out from under his feet. There were days when he didn't want to go, we would have to chase him and stuff him in the car or van or put him in the van and then sit by the door. But we did NOT miss an appointment because we believed that what was going on in the psychiatrists office was the only thing that helped our son. Getting him there was a small part of the battle, keeping him in session was up to the doctor and sometimes Dude just got up and left so we let him go and we sat and talked. The man was incredible. After 41/2 years of going even when difficult child was in a local Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - we took him there every week and went for family therapy 1x a week too. At the end of our time with him difficult child was opening up and finally told about the abuse he suffered. It was horrible and wonderful at the same time because we finally KNEW what had made difficult child mad for 11 years, but the best part was that difficult child finally VERBALIZED it out loud. The problem with it all unfortunately was that difficult child moved to a group home out of town. He was encouraged to get help elsewhere but hasn't yet. Said he would but when I talked to him - he said he just could NOT talk to one more person about what happened. That Dr. H was it. He'd go back and talk to him - but only him. So in the end? After years of not wanting to go - he did end up liking him and talking to him and sometimes said nothing at all and just played checkers or just sat and listened to the doctor talk. The important thing is for you to like who you go see, AND to make the commitment to go. If your daughter won't go, and you won't force her - then YOU go and talk to the psychiatrist in her place. I did - about how embarrassed I was that difficult child wasn't there or how stubborn he was because I am the parent yet he refused to get in the car. I found solace in the time I had with him and eventually went on my own. It made me a better parent, I learned how not to be a door mat, how to turn off my voice, how to NOT accept hitting as a communication effort, and I found my courage to do things like call the police and send a permanent and lasting message that I will be treated with respect. I ignored a lot - I learned how. The things I couldn't and shouldn't ignore - I learned how to do what I had to do to be the best Mom I could be. No regrets. AND it will make difficult child a little more likely to seek out help in the future. Good luck - welcome to the board Star [/QUOTE]
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