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Parent Emeritus
Peace after trauma. Can you share your secrets please?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 731578" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Thank you Copa. The present is always a good place to be. I know your family has caused you suffering but I don't think you need to feel guilt. You didn't do anything wrong. In fact you protected your mom from your sister. Maybe she is terminally angry because you took control. But what if you had given her control?? You know it was best for your dear mother that you kept control.</p><p></p><p>I am a little different in that I don't feel guilty. Cops, I TRIED MY BEST. I apologized to my mother when I had no idea exactly what I was apologizing for. I sent her beautiful cards. I called her and talked to her although she never called ME. I said I loved her. She would respond "I know you do." in wanted a mother but I didn't get one, but it was not for lack of trying. </p><p></p><p>Eventually I gave up and I never heard from her again.</p><p></p><p>As for our sisters, I suspect you tried. So did I. Even after mine revengefully called the cops on me repeatedly I took her back because I loved her. But I can't do that anymore. I don't feel guilty. You should not feel guilty. The only way I would talk to mine again would be if she found a creative way to apologize for the cops, the abscence of compassion when I was disinherited and remorse for her cut offs. She is like my mom. They never apologize. Ever. At least, not to me. I feel she lacks empathy. I am her only target now, but my brother was an early, vicious target of her as was my dear grandmother.</p><p></p><p>I have not checked to see if my sister is still writing about me. I hope if she does write about me, it helps her. But I won't check again.</p><p></p><p> And I can't control if she feels the need to read my thoughts on this forum. She told me she has been stalking my posts for YEARS so she read some things I didn't mean for her to see. But this is my place to vent and if she read my thoughts here it was her choice. I don't feeling guilty about that either. I am sure, even if she did not write about me on the internet, she shared her wrong diagnosis of me with everyone she knew and many knew me too. To me that is worst. Nobody knows her here. It is anonymous. If she still reads my thoughts, I don't know that There is no point. I will never see her again. And I don't feel guilty about any of this nor should you.</p><p></p><p> You have done your very best. We both did. All we can do is our best. We can't make others feel our best is enough. But it is. Everyone's best is all they can do.</p><p></p><p>You did the right thing and I hope you can remember that when things feel dark.</p><p></p><p>As for me, I do try to live in the moment. When times are tough, as they are for everyone from time to time, my mind has trouble staying in the present. Today was a busy much better day. I think I am still grieving my father though. You know how that is, I'm sure. Grief is a process.</p><p></p><p>I wish you peace. You are too kind to continue to suffer.</p><p></p><p>Love and light.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 731578, member: 1550"] Thank you Copa. The present is always a good place to be. I know your family has caused you suffering but I don't think you need to feel guilt. You didn't do anything wrong. In fact you protected your mom from your sister. Maybe she is terminally angry because you took control. But what if you had given her control?? You know it was best for your dear mother that you kept control. I am a little different in that I don't feel guilty. Cops, I TRIED MY BEST. I apologized to my mother when I had no idea exactly what I was apologizing for. I sent her beautiful cards. I called her and talked to her although she never called ME. I said I loved her. She would respond "I know you do." in wanted a mother but I didn't get one, but it was not for lack of trying. Eventually I gave up and I never heard from her again. As for our sisters, I suspect you tried. So did I. Even after mine revengefully called the cops on me repeatedly I took her back because I loved her. But I can't do that anymore. I don't feel guilty. You should not feel guilty. The only way I would talk to mine again would be if she found a creative way to apologize for the cops, the abscence of compassion when I was disinherited and remorse for her cut offs. She is like my mom. They never apologize. Ever. At least, not to me. I feel she lacks empathy. I am her only target now, but my brother was an early, vicious target of her as was my dear grandmother. I have not checked to see if my sister is still writing about me. I hope if she does write about me, it helps her. But I won't check again. And I can't control if she feels the need to read my thoughts on this forum. She told me she has been stalking my posts for YEARS so she read some things I didn't mean for her to see. But this is my place to vent and if she read my thoughts here it was her choice. I don't feeling guilty about that either. I am sure, even if she did not write about me on the internet, she shared her wrong diagnosis of me with everyone she knew and many knew me too. To me that is worst. Nobody knows her here. It is anonymous. If she still reads my thoughts, I don't know that There is no point. I will never see her again. And I don't feel guilty about any of this nor should you. You have done your very best. We both did. All we can do is our best. We can't make others feel our best is enough. But it is. Everyone's best is all they can do. You did the right thing and I hope you can remember that when things feel dark. As for me, I do try to live in the moment. When times are tough, as they are for everyone from time to time, my mind has trouble staying in the present. Today was a busy much better day. I think I am still grieving my father though. You know how that is, I'm sure. Grief is a process. I wish you peace. You are too kind to continue to suffer. Love and light. [/QUOTE]
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Peace after trauma. Can you share your secrets please?
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