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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
petrified for 23yo son..
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 677166" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Hi rebelson, I understand your petrifying fear.... I have at times had that fear also. When my son was homeless and on the streets I had to accept that I had no control over the outcome of his decisions and whatever they were they were not my fault.... Not at this point. My son is now 24 and that was a couple of years ago. I worried a lot and I checked his phone records sometimes just to make sure he was still alive. So I totally get the fear and yet his life is out of your control. It is his choice to live or not.</p><p></p><p>I will say that if he calls and sounds suicidal then you need to tell him he should go to the hospital and check himself in. I think from your posts you are not nearby... So yeah you can talk him down maybe, but who knows where he will be a couple of hours later. You really cannot be his total safety net.... And if he is suicidal then he needs professional help. That is one place I got to with my son, when he got suicidal I told him he needed to go to the hospital.... And when he was local I could take him there.</p><p></p><p>One thing I have realized with my son is that he wants to live.... Because when he has gotten suicidal he has taken my advice and gone to the hospital.</p><p></p><p>I have also taken the stand with my son that when he wants to help himself then I will help him and I have. So with his substance abuse when he wants to get sober I will help him get into treatment..... He is finally at the point where I think he wants sobriety for himself, not for the courts and not just to get something from me... But it has taken time, and some relapses to get to that point... .and who knows what will happen from here.</p><p></p><p>The best thing you can do for yourself is to find ways to live and enjoy your life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 677166, member: 15801"] Hi rebelson, I understand your petrifying fear.... I have at times had that fear also. When my son was homeless and on the streets I had to accept that I had no control over the outcome of his decisions and whatever they were they were not my fault.... Not at this point. My son is now 24 and that was a couple of years ago. I worried a lot and I checked his phone records sometimes just to make sure he was still alive. So I totally get the fear and yet his life is out of your control. It is his choice to live or not. I will say that if he calls and sounds suicidal then you need to tell him he should go to the hospital and check himself in. I think from your posts you are not nearby... So yeah you can talk him down maybe, but who knows where he will be a couple of hours later. You really cannot be his total safety net.... And if he is suicidal then he needs professional help. That is one place I got to with my son, when he got suicidal I told him he needed to go to the hospital.... And when he was local I could take him there. One thing I have realized with my son is that he wants to live.... Because when he has gotten suicidal he has taken my advice and gone to the hospital. I have also taken the stand with my son that when he wants to help himself then I will help him and I have. So with his substance abuse when he wants to get sober I will help him get into treatment..... He is finally at the point where I think he wants sobriety for himself, not for the courts and not just to get something from me... But it has taken time, and some relapses to get to that point... .and who knows what will happen from here. The best thing you can do for yourself is to find ways to live and enjoy your life. [/QUOTE]
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