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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 441168" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>I don't think it's honeymooning, Suz. I think it's a combination of age and maturing (won't go so far as to say "maturity", LOL), along with having lived a really rough existence the past 2 years. He had his shirt off today and I noticed an ugly scar on his shoulder - he informed me that he had been stabbed in TLP, post age 18 so I was never notified. My heart just aches for him, and I know I don't know the half of it (don't want to). He had to get to this place on his own, and I have no doubt that he went to some pretty dark places to get here. </p><p></p><p>I think he gets the concept of "do to get" a bit more, and he also really desperately wanted/needed someone to step in and start guiding him because he was spinning his wheels in terms of progressing towards his goals (*his* goals, not goals created by a "team"). He hadn't quite gotten to the point of outright asking for help, but he had made repeated comments over the past several months that I didn't have to shut up (my self-prompt for detaching when the urge to give advice started to overwhelm me, LOL), that he would really like to hear my opinion.</p><p></p><p>I think the other huge difference is he is an *adult* and I no longer feel the need to know where he is/what he's doing 24/7. He lets me know if he's going out, is respectful of our early bedtime/rising hours as well as general house rules, and I'm pretty confident that for now drugs are not in his life so.... it's good. He will be taking the GED the end of July and enrolling in community college this fall. We're helping to facilitate these things because he just never seemed to be able to get it together for himself. I'm not feeling bad about facilitating because heaven knows, Residential Treatment Center (RTC)/TLP certainly wasn't able to teach him the skills - their fault, his fault, who knows, who cares? At this stage, I'm all about end results.</p><p></p><p>We're no longer the bad guys in his eyes. We're boring and old and his parents, but we're not the root of all that's wrong in the world. I think, because of where he's been and who he's been with, he has an honest appreciation of family, home, and the comforts of same. He's mellowed quite a bit.</p><p></p><p>I have to tell you, it's been a real gift to have him here. He is really just a delight now. Even has taken to wearing shirts and ties instead of the Demented Dr. Seuss getups he used to wear. That's my kid - one extreme or the other. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="rofl :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 441168, member: 8"] I don't think it's honeymooning, Suz. I think it's a combination of age and maturing (won't go so far as to say "maturity", LOL), along with having lived a really rough existence the past 2 years. He had his shirt off today and I noticed an ugly scar on his shoulder - he informed me that he had been stabbed in TLP, post age 18 so I was never notified. My heart just aches for him, and I know I don't know the half of it (don't want to). He had to get to this place on his own, and I have no doubt that he went to some pretty dark places to get here. I think he gets the concept of "do to get" a bit more, and he also really desperately wanted/needed someone to step in and start guiding him because he was spinning his wheels in terms of progressing towards his goals (*his* goals, not goals created by a "team"). He hadn't quite gotten to the point of outright asking for help, but he had made repeated comments over the past several months that I didn't have to shut up (my self-prompt for detaching when the urge to give advice started to overwhelm me, LOL), that he would really like to hear my opinion. I think the other huge difference is he is an *adult* and I no longer feel the need to know where he is/what he's doing 24/7. He lets me know if he's going out, is respectful of our early bedtime/rising hours as well as general house rules, and I'm pretty confident that for now drugs are not in his life so.... it's good. He will be taking the GED the end of July and enrolling in community college this fall. We're helping to facilitate these things because he just never seemed to be able to get it together for himself. I'm not feeling bad about facilitating because heaven knows, Residential Treatment Center (RTC)/TLP certainly wasn't able to teach him the skills - their fault, his fault, who knows, who cares? At this stage, I'm all about end results. We're no longer the bad guys in his eyes. We're boring and old and his parents, but we're not the root of all that's wrong in the world. I think, because of where he's been and who he's been with, he has an honest appreciation of family, home, and the comforts of same. He's mellowed quite a bit. I have to tell you, it's been a real gift to have him here. He is really just a delight now. Even has taken to wearing shirts and ties instead of the Demented Dr. Seuss getups he used to wear. That's my kid - one extreme or the other. :rofl: [/QUOTE]
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