In KS, it is called CINC (child in need of care).
"Shoplifting this past May.(charges dropped but fined 800.00.we paid)" - Ouch! Has she paid you back for this yet?
A year ago, my difficult child got into the driver's seat of a friend's car - with him and two other kids. She didn't have a driver's license or insurance (still doesn't now), but proceeded to total the car. Claimed that the steering wheel AND the brakes became completely inoperable at the same time. Witnesses said she was speeding through a parking lot, lost control when she hit a curb, hit a retaining wall, and then bounced off that wall, the car spun around, and then ran head first into the side of a brick building. Thank God all the kids had on seat belts. The only injury was to N*, who had a minor burn on her arm from the chemicals in the airbag that was deployed.
Of course, the other family wanted compensation for the totalled car. I explained that N* had permission to drive from the owner of the car (their kid), so it wasn't all N*'s fault. We settled on a 50/50 split of the value of the car. The money I paid came out of N*s college fund. I've stopped contributing to it, as she will likely graduate as the valedictorian of the School of Hard Knocks - class of 2009, or 2010, or 2011....as soon as she accumulates enough credits.
N* has been through Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - 90 days as a result of a court order. Many here will tell you that these facilities just warehouse kids, and the staff treat parents as if the parents were the problem.
Does E want to stop abusing drugs and alcohol? Would she agree to a treatment program set up through your insurance company?
E does control your life. You love your child, you're scared for her safety, her choices, her future...and she knows it. How soon will she be 18, and given new choices from you?