Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Kathie In NY, Sep 11, 2007.
Has anyone done this? did it accomplish anything?In General forum Jbrain said she did.Any others?
I have done something similar in my state. I had my son placed against his will twice---involuntary committment. It can be done is SC through probate court (go figure). I had to see the judge and explain what was going on. He issued an order and the deputy sheriff sent someone to pick him up.
The short answer for "Did it accomplish anything?" is just more debt! I had to pay for everything out of pocket. If he gets involved in the criminal justice system you will pay!
Some states call it PINS, and some call in CHINS. I used to think that the child gets an assessment and then there is a "plan" made for the child to follow. Problem is the parent has to drive the child or pay for the classes. If the kiddo is involved with the juvenile system, it may not matter anyway.
Why don't you share exactly what's going on with your difficult child here on the Teens forum.
I had my son involuntarily committed twice in South CArolina. He hated it and would act up and they would send him home. They make a plan but if the difficult child doesnt follow it there is no consequence unless they say jail time. It seems the parents are always doing the driving or the paying.
I should have told my story here also instead of just general.difficult child is a train wreck waiting to happen.17/f caught with-pipe last year and suspended for 3 months. Shoplifting this past May.(charges dropped but fined 800.00.we paid)Smokes pot and cigarettes and drinks I think.Got into an altercation with-her Dad the other nite which ended up with her going out the window because I called 911.I was hysterical.She in unmedicated BiPolar (BP).Doesn't like the way the drugs(Depakote)made her feel.
She is also Learning Disability (LD) and a senior by the skin of her teeth.Makes poor choices with-friends and b/f's.Al are high school drop outs and drug abusers.I think we are sliding down a very slippery slope.Oh -and she is defiant as can be.And uses language that curls my toes.I feel as though she controls my life.
In KS, it is called CINC (child in need of care).
"Shoplifting this past May.(charges dropped but fined 800.00.we paid)" - Ouch! Has she paid you back for this yet?
A year ago, my difficult child got into the driver's seat of a friend's car - with him and two other kids. She didn't have a driver's license or insurance (still doesn't now), but proceeded to total the car. Claimed that the steering wheel AND the brakes became completely inoperable at the same time. Witnesses said she was speeding through a parking lot, lost control when she hit a curb, hit a retaining wall, and then bounced off that wall, the car spun around, and then ran head first into the side of a brick building. Thank God all the kids had on seat belts. The only injury was to N*, who had a minor burn on her arm from the chemicals in the airbag that was deployed.
Of course, the other family wanted compensation for the totalled car. I explained that N* had permission to drive from the owner of the car (their kid), so it wasn't all N*'s fault. We settled on a 50/50 split of the value of the car. The money I paid came out of N*s college fund. I've stopped contributing to it, as she will likely graduate as the valedictorian of the School of Hard Knocks - class of 2009, or 2010, or 2011....as soon as she accumulates enough credits.
N* has been through Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - 90 days as a result of a court order. Many here will tell you that these facilities just warehouse kids, and the staff treat parents as if the parents were the problem.
Does E want to stop abusing drugs and alcohol? Would she agree to a treatment program set up through your insurance company?
E does control your life. You love your child, you're scared for her safety, her choices, her future...and she knows it. How soon will she be 18, and given new choices from you?
I am guessing that the PINS program will tell you she is too old. I tried CHINS here for ant at 17 and they told me that. perhaps you can get her a social security psychiatric disability started? call the social services dept and talk things over. they will most likely want her kept in your home with your money as the system is over loaded.
One of the things that is just so hard to accept and believe is that traditional parenting and expectations, just don't work with these kids.
Once they start on the drugs, their motivation changes, their personality changes, and their ability to grow up and reason change. They become stunted emotionally and developmentally. And I don't mean physically either. That part keeps right on going.
It's also difficult not to get sucked up into the drama and not run around like a screaming mimi.
Your difficult child owes you money and needs to pay you back. That's the first thing that needs to be done. She must be held accountable for her actions. No one cares if she has to work just to pay the $800 or whether she'll continue to work. Maybe a staffing company will hire her.
Are you searching her room and stuff for drugs and paraphenelia?
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