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General Parenting
Plan B In the Explosive Child
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<blockquote data-quote="Allan-Matlem" data-source="post: 504318" data-attributes="member: 10"><p>Hi,</p><p></p><p>Successful Plan B usually takes place out of the moment when there is a good feeling and connection. it is means being able to keep the conversation going and use probing questions - drilling down. If the problem is too emotive maybe we can talk about a situation involving other people. He seems to be a black and white thinker - not taking the perspectives of others , seeing the possibility of interperting actions in different ways - Myrna Shure - raising a thinking preteen</p><p></p><p>a more direct approach Plan B would go like this</p><p></p><p>I have noticed that when I or dad bump into you it makes you mad - what's up ?</p><p>take time to just hear him , reflecting back what he says </p><p></p><p>Because you say , it hurt, gave you a fright , uncomfortable - does it then feel like it was done deliberately ?</p><p></p><p>yes</p><p></p><p>can you think of a reason why we would like to bump into you ?</p><p></p><p>how do you think we can make sure that we don't bump into each other ?</p><p></p><p>if we happen to bump into each other , how can we respond</p><p>even if it is an accident, we are still sorry and we should try to be more careful about it</p><p></p><p></p><p>you can talk about ' giving people the benefit of the doubt where one can interpret things in different ways , why it is good for both parties - keeps you calm , does not allow you to get upset and helps friendship and good feelings between people</p><p>I recommend complimenting CPS - Plan b with RDI relationship development relationship see rdiconnect etc RDI focuses on skills building by collaborating around daily activities in a ' thinking' way</p><p></p><p>mentors , older brothers, buddies etc also promote thinking</p><p></p><p>Parenting is Learning</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Allan-Matlem, post: 504318, member: 10"] Hi, Successful Plan B usually takes place out of the moment when there is a good feeling and connection. it is means being able to keep the conversation going and use probing questions - drilling down. If the problem is too emotive maybe we can talk about a situation involving other people. He seems to be a black and white thinker - not taking the perspectives of others , seeing the possibility of interperting actions in different ways - Myrna Shure - raising a thinking preteen a more direct approach Plan B would go like this I have noticed that when I or dad bump into you it makes you mad - what's up ? take time to just hear him , reflecting back what he says Because you say , it hurt, gave you a fright , uncomfortable - does it then feel like it was done deliberately ? yes can you think of a reason why we would like to bump into you ? how do you think we can make sure that we don't bump into each other ? if we happen to bump into each other , how can we respond even if it is an accident, we are still sorry and we should try to be more careful about it you can talk about ' giving people the benefit of the doubt where one can interpret things in different ways , why it is good for both parties - keeps you calm , does not allow you to get upset and helps friendship and good feelings between people I recommend complimenting CPS - Plan b with RDI relationship development relationship see rdiconnect etc RDI focuses on skills building by collaborating around daily activities in a ' thinking' way mentors , older brothers, buddies etc also promote thinking Parenting is Learning [/QUOTE]
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