Please Forgive Me

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Transparent, Dec 19, 2008.

  1. Transparent

    Transparent New Member

    You all have been so helpful and supportive. Not knowing any of you (yet) I feel awkward in replying but then when I don't I feel like I've neglected you in some way. I hope you don't think I'm a jerk, I'm just scared of saying the wrong thing. I worked as a medic for years and behavioral emergencies were a part of my job but you know, this is NOTHING like what I was trained to work with.

    They don't teach you how to work with your own. You can't be taught the anguish and heartache. And when you throw in the fact that they're still just a kid - well - I'm having a really hard time.

    I'm here a LOT. Lurking and reading. My heart breaks for each and every one of you. I too wish none of us had to be here, but like everyone else says, I'm glad we have a place to go.

    Thanks again for helping me and my family.
  2. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I don't think anyone here is upset with you. I kind of feel the same way. Sometimes I don't feel confident enough in the advice I would give so I just send some support and hugs instead. I too am always afraid to say the wrong thing, especially if I don't have first hand experience with what the topic is. You don't always need to give advice though, this site is essentially to support one another. Some kind words can go a long way. :)

    God bless.:)
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    That's what we're here for!! Don't worry about replying to a lot- most of us start out just like you on this board and lurking can be very helpful sometimes. Even those of us that have been here a while go thru periods of not posting so much sometimes.

    I'm glad you found the board and hope it helps you as much as it has helped me!!
  4. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Hey we have all been here and there. Some of us can add some thing on some days, and other days it is just too much.
    But this place is about helping each other get through these times, good and bad.
    Offer what you can when you can.
    There are times when something you say may change the day for someone, you never know! Change it for the better.
    This is such hard time of year for so many. Hang in there...
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    No need to apologize. We all take what we need from this place and offer support where and when we can. There is NO expectation for a certain level of participation. Ever.

    There are some days when I am so drained from dealing with my own life that I simply cannot do any more than just read some of the posts. Other days I have the energy and the insight to offer what I can. It may or may not help, but that's for the receiver or lurker or whomever reads it to decide. Like I said, no expectations.
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    You don't need to be forgiven. Good grief, as if you don't have enough on your hands, don't add to your guilt but assuming you have to maintain a certain level of participation here.
    Some of us like to write. In fact, I love to write.
    But for some, it's a chore. Not just because writing isn't their forte', but because it is so emotionallly draining to have to dredge up all the stuf that's been going on, try to make sense of it, and then type it in here.
    It is hard.
    That's why we're all here.
    I love your avatar, by the way. :)
  7. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    No worries. Sometimes we take more than we give and vice versa. We've all been there.

    Sometimes my own life is so overwhelming that I don't have anything constructive to offer and just read.
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    No forgiveness needed. For me, just knowing that my board family is here helps me get through the days. I may not post, but I always read.
  9. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Same goes here, and you give what you can when you can. We are always here, thats the beauty of it all. There are days I post and post and post, which i'm sure you have already learned lol. It saves me from ripping my own hair out. Yet i do have my "calm" days when I just read and say nothing.

    (((hugs))) "it's all good, no worries"
  10. I agree with everyone else, no need to apologize. I have days when I post and days when I answer here or there and days when I just read. This site has been a real benefit to me.

  11. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I have some serious guilt because I lurked for years before I made my first post and then it was because I was in such pain I really needed support. There were no reciminations about my having lurked for so long, even though I probably could have helped a few people with my experiences on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Instead, there was welcoming arms, kind words and advice I totally ignored but completely appreciated.

    You will discover your own rhythm. For some, it is posting frequently. For others, it is posting when they can offer something concrete or when it is someone they know. I feel the main goal is to help each other however we see fit. There are times when replying is beyond us. There are times when we post just to hear ourselves talk. It doesn't matter. What does matter is to help our children and, hopefully, in the process ourselves. So, relax as much as you can and enjoy the company here. No strings.
  12. judi

    judi Active Member

    I've been here since 2001! Sometimes I answer more than other times. Please just know that sometimes just reading situations is helpful. Don't feel you always have to answer. None of have all the answers...take care.
  13. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I'm glad you use the site even if it is to lurk at times.
    My thought is that I put myself in the posters shoes. What would I want if I were in the same position. If I don't specifics about a particular issue I then go to the second thing I would want which is usually some support, or reassurance.
    No one can know everything about everything.
    All of us can give a kind hand to pull someone who is down. Sometimes it;s a little common sense and straight talk.

    It's nice to know there are lurkers out there.
  14. Im a Believer

    Im a Believer New Member

    Transparent ~ I feelthe same!

    There are so many GREAT people on this site with so much WONDERFUL advice and ENCOURAGING words ~ I feel like a slug ~

    Someday I hope to help someone like I have been helped in the few short weeks I've "been around".

    Keep coming back - we can hide in the corner together - LOL

  15. Mandy

    Mandy Parent In Training

    Sometimes i don't give advice either but only because my difficult child is 4 and we are just getting started;)

    I love all the great advice and encouragement the other parents give here that have "been there, done that":D
  16. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    :teethy:What's great about message boards is that you can get support and advice without typing anything. It'll be here when you need it.:its_all_good:
  17. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Another vote for dont' worry about it.

    Sometimes, a thread will have 15 replies all saying "I agree" and one soul will be brave enough to disagree, here's what I think, and often, a very productive conversation results.
  18. Transparent

    Transparent New Member

    You're all so awesome! Kudos to all of us for being as strong as we are - I raise my cup of cocoa in a toast to all of you wonderful moms.
  19. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    You're having cocoa and not sharing???? I take back everything I said.
  20. Transparent

    Transparent New Member


    Of course I'm sharing. It's no fun to drink alone!