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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 573400" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I'm still sitting here in awe that there are 70 people wanting to attend this shower. Holy Moses! </p><p></p><p>Bad thing is, 70 people will be invited and only a portion will be able to attend. It always works that way. </p><p></p><p>I still say take them to lunch or whatever, sit them down, and just explain it to them. If daughter in laws friends / family or her mother's friends / family are going to want to come then they're just going to have to not only help foot the bill to accommodate the ridiculous amount of people but also help pitch in to put this thing on. Otherwise, daughter in law and or her mother will have to make other arrangements. This is YOUR shower, you're paying for it. Yes you're doing it for your future daughter but still, it's your party......which means your rules. </p><p></p><p>I had a taste of this with easy child over her wedding. Now sister in law's grandparents had offered to foot the bill to see them married before Darrin was born, they did not care how much that bill cost them either. easy child was raised right and DID care and was careful to keep costs down as next to nothing as possible and still have a nice wedding. Her future mother in law started in about the reception and how much would husband and I be contributing blah blah blah. I simply laughed at her. (ok it was immediately after my Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) tact was not my strong suit at that time) I explained to her my kids were raised that they had no business marrying if they could not pay for it themselves and that their parents would not fund any of it. It was not my idea they marry. (I felt they were being not too gently pushed into it before they were sure that is what they wanted) Nor was it my responsibility to fund it. easy child's mother in law decided to use the church for the reception and cater from subway (she owns subway lol ) instead of some of the elaborate nonsense she'd come up with. Turned out a better plan as the wedding was on such short notice mostly immediate family was all who was able to attend. So had I let her guilt me into her elaborate plans it would have been all that expense for nothing pretty much. </p><p></p><p>I've found it's better to be upfront and honest about such things than to try to bend over backward and please everyone. (which is impossible and causes resentment, not a good way to start relationships) I find it difficult to believe her church friends are going to be too "hurt" if they aren't invited when there would be no shower where you are had you not been kind enough to plan one. It's not like they can't go visit the girl and give her a gift for the baby for pete's sake. </p><p></p><p>Also if it were me, since there are soooooooo many people involved, I'd RSVP with a date early enough to opt for somewhere smaller should those who plan to attend be a much smaller group than invited. WTH do you do with that many people at a shower?? <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/faint.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":faint:" title="faint :faint:" data-shortname=":faint:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 573400, member: 84"] I'm still sitting here in awe that there are 70 people wanting to attend this shower. Holy Moses! Bad thing is, 70 people will be invited and only a portion will be able to attend. It always works that way. I still say take them to lunch or whatever, sit them down, and just explain it to them. If daughter in laws friends / family or her mother's friends / family are going to want to come then they're just going to have to not only help foot the bill to accommodate the ridiculous amount of people but also help pitch in to put this thing on. Otherwise, daughter in law and or her mother will have to make other arrangements. This is YOUR shower, you're paying for it. Yes you're doing it for your future daughter but still, it's your party......which means your rules. I had a taste of this with easy child over her wedding. Now sister in law's grandparents had offered to foot the bill to see them married before Darrin was born, they did not care how much that bill cost them either. easy child was raised right and DID care and was careful to keep costs down as next to nothing as possible and still have a nice wedding. Her future mother in law started in about the reception and how much would husband and I be contributing blah blah blah. I simply laughed at her. (ok it was immediately after my Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) tact was not my strong suit at that time) I explained to her my kids were raised that they had no business marrying if they could not pay for it themselves and that their parents would not fund any of it. It was not my idea they marry. (I felt they were being not too gently pushed into it before they were sure that is what they wanted) Nor was it my responsibility to fund it. easy child's mother in law decided to use the church for the reception and cater from subway (she owns subway lol ) instead of some of the elaborate nonsense she'd come up with. Turned out a better plan as the wedding was on such short notice mostly immediate family was all who was able to attend. So had I let her guilt me into her elaborate plans it would have been all that expense for nothing pretty much. I've found it's better to be upfront and honest about such things than to try to bend over backward and please everyone. (which is impossible and causes resentment, not a good way to start relationships) I find it difficult to believe her church friends are going to be too "hurt" if they aren't invited when there would be no shower where you are had you not been kind enough to plan one. It's not like they can't go visit the girl and give her a gift for the baby for pete's sake. Also if it were me, since there are soooooooo many people involved, I'd RSVP with a date early enough to opt for somewhere smaller should those who plan to attend be a much smaller group than invited. WTH do you do with that many people at a shower?? :faint: [/QUOTE]
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