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General Parenting
PLEASE hear me out! my five year olds' behavior!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="TeDo" data-source="post: 549109"><p>I agree with the others. Guilt will get you nowhere but I will tell you that spanking, more times than not, makes things worse with kids like ours (if it affects them at all). You really need to get a thorough evaluation to try to figure out what might be causing this behavior.</p><p></p><p>I do want to tell you that the key to dealing with the behavior is to figure out WHY he's doing it. As parents, we tend to assume a LOT and with difficult child's, we are usually wrong. Neurotypical ("normal") people usually can't think like difficult child's think. difficult child's think VERY differently than most people and the key is to figure out how they think.</p><p></p><p>I'm thinking sensory seeking also. A good Occupational Therapist (OT) should be able to help with that. His lack of reaction to a painful spanking and playing with uncooked noodles kind of point in that direction. As for the messes themselves, have you calmly asked him why he "played" with whatever the mess is? Be curious and unthreatening and then really listen to his answers. You might be amazed and I guarantee you will learn a LOT. With the not cleaning up, have you explained why it needs to be cleaned up? It could be that he really doesn't understand WHY he has to clean it. Figuring out the WHY of difficult child 1's behavior like this (putting aside ANY assumptions) made a huge difference in teaching difficult child 1 the cause and effect of his actions and helped a LOT. Our house has gotten more peaceful and I have realized that difficult child 1 IS different int he way he sees the world.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TeDo, post: 549109"] I agree with the others. Guilt will get you nowhere but I will tell you that spanking, more times than not, makes things worse with kids like ours (if it affects them at all). You really need to get a thorough evaluation to try to figure out what might be causing this behavior. I do want to tell you that the key to dealing with the behavior is to figure out WHY he's doing it. As parents, we tend to assume a LOT and with difficult child's, we are usually wrong. Neurotypical ("normal") people usually can't think like difficult child's think. difficult child's think VERY differently than most people and the key is to figure out how they think. I'm thinking sensory seeking also. A good Occupational Therapist (OT) should be able to help with that. His lack of reaction to a painful spanking and playing with uncooked noodles kind of point in that direction. As for the messes themselves, have you calmly asked him why he "played" with whatever the mess is? Be curious and unthreatening and then really listen to his answers. You might be amazed and I guarantee you will learn a LOT. With the not cleaning up, have you explained why it needs to be cleaned up? It could be that he really doesn't understand WHY he has to clean it. Figuring out the WHY of difficult child 1's behavior like this (putting aside ANY assumptions) made a huge difference in teaching difficult child 1 the cause and effect of his actions and helped a LOT. Our house has gotten more peaceful and I have realized that difficult child 1 IS different int he way he sees the world. [/QUOTE]
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PLEASE hear me out! my five year olds' behavior!!!
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