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Please Help?? 6 YO Daughter Possible ODD, Borderline (BPD), or ADHD??
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<blockquote data-quote="Izzys Ma" data-source="post: 460471" data-attributes="member: 12799"><p>Thank you all so very much for your responses. Just hearing from others who have problems similar to what I am going through with my daughter has made a tremendous difference in my "hope" factor.</p><p></p><p>I am going to try to address some of the questions and comments now.</p><p></p><p>Someone had asked of she only tries to get me mad. Well, this is an interesting question. I would answer it with a yes and a no. Our home situation is somewhat different. My husband works 2nd shift in another state (comes home everyday but not until 12am) and we both only get to see him on the weekends. This has always been the case and my daughter only knows this as normal. So, given this, our daughter has her Daddy wrapped around her little finger. I have always been the one taking care of her, directing her, teaching her, etc. He is more of a playmate to her than anything else. (He is great father though and realizes that there is something wring). When he has changed his "game" with her such as asking her to do/not to do something, teaching her, etc she DOES NOT like it at all. When he does anything other than play with her she feels that he can not do anything right. I have chalked it up to the fact that I for the most part am the one who has mostly taken care of the important things in her life. </p><p></p><p>So, given this, although he loves our daughter with all of his heart, he kind of takes a back seat when not playing with her. The anger and all of the negative behavior are directed to me and he does not say or do anything (he says he does not know what to do...I believe him). When she is with my mother she will act out like she does when she is with me. Again, my mother is the caretaker in this setting and my stepfather (my daughter's Papa since birth) is the playmate. She will tell you that Papa lets her do WHATEVER she wants. </p><p></p><p>It is interesting to note that although my husband and her Papa are her "playmates" she will get mad at them if they play with her the wrong way. For example, she is fascinated and desires for you to make multiple voices (which I though initially was creative years ago) and pretend you are different people when playing different imaginary games such as doctor or school you have to the doctor and her mother or when playing school you have to the nice teacher, the mean principal, and he mean or nice classmate. This can get rather confusing and you (even Dad and Papa) get this wrong she will get very frustrated, yell, throw things, etc. </p><p></p><p>Someone else had mentioned the book "The Out-of-Sync Child." I bought this when I bought "The Explosize Child" last week. The reason I bought this book was because she does have things that immediately stood out at me as being different such as hating the feel of paper (hard when she is in school....big hurdle last year in Kindergarten...insisted on using lotion on hands but teacher would not allow this) and not liking the feel of wood on her feet but will crawl on our deck with her hands and knees in order not to step on the wood with bare feet.</p><p></p><p>I know something is up with her as this is not just a stage as her PCP has suggested at various different times. There are too many things that are off. </p><p></p><p>I am really not looking for a diagnosis simply for diagnosis purposes for her either. I am looking to alter our (parents, caretakers) reactions and dealings with her to teach her how live her life as this is a long life to live. </p><p></p><p>I am reluctant on the thought of giving her medications for any of these things as well. I have seen what the worng medications can do when I watched my brother in and out of the psychiatric ward. I still do not know if they him figured out yet.</p><p></p><p>It may be worth mentioning that my daughter has other physical health issues as well:</p><p></p><p>~ <strong>Childhood Auto-Immune Neutropenia </strong>(diagnosis at 1 yr old) - Her bone marrow is creating an antibody that attacks her immune system and she was on anitbiotics everyday until she was 5 years old as a preventative. She was not sick often (thankfully, as a bacterial infection has the potential to kill her) but ever since she was 1 year we would have to bring her to the ER at a 100 degree fever to have blood drawn and antibiotics given intravenously. We no longer do this but she gets sick A LOT since she has been in school. She has been in 1st grade for not even 2 weeks and already had bronchitis and is on an antibiotic. Her specialist had advised that this issue would self-resolve by the time she as 5 years old but it has not. He has no answers as to why it has not. Her white cell count is relatively low at 2.3 due to this. She has minimal protection again bacterial infections and this is always a concern.</p><p></p><p><strong>~ Allergies </strong>(Environmental and very minor food) - Allergic to almost all animals (hives, breathing issues), trees, mold, dust, milk, pork, wheat and peanuts. I have been advised not to withhold any food from her because the reactions arent seen and are so small as indicated on the test results. Since learning this not too long ago I have stopped her from drinking whole milk and steer away from peanuts. These changes were easy as she was not big on either one of them. She has been diagnosed with allergy-induced asthma and recently had to get ear tubes put in because of her chronic sinusitis and recurrent ear infections. I am working with an ENT/allergist out of state and have just recently started her on sublingual immunotherapy (allergy drops under the tongue...less invasive than shots) to attempt to help her overcome some of these obstacles.</p><p></p><p><strong>~ Chronic stomatitis </strong>(large mouth ulcers - since around 2 years old) - Can have many of them at a time and no doctor has been able to say why. They thought it was related to her auto-immune disease. The made it extremely painful for her to eat. Grasping at straws and trying to rid of these things I thought that maybe she was allergic to flouride. I recently put her on baby training toothpaste and low and behold these ulcers disappeared within a week! YAY....figured out one of the issues.</p><p></p><p>There is a lot to her and I have learned over the years that I really am her only and best advocate for anything health related. I am very attentive and try to learn as much as I can about her via observation, recollection and research. </p><p></p><p>Now I am just waiting to hear back from the psychologist to schedule her in for her first appointment. I am also waiting for a call back from her PCP. I will be requesting some of the various different evaluations (I need referrals to docs around here that can do the types of things my daughter needs) suggested by some of you guys.</p><p></p><p>I know that this was a very long post so thanks for reading it.</p><p></p><p>I want to thank all of you for your ears...although I am new here I feel like I have someone to talk to that can at least understand the behavioral issues I am facing.</p><p></p><p><strong>P.S.</strong></p><p><strong></strong>Although quite "busy" last night was a good one. I told my child that she did not deserve anyone to be mad at her all the time and that I loved her too much to get mad at her anymore. I told her that she could try and do anything she wanted to get me mad and it simply was not going to work anymore. She talks to more about how she is feeling now which is what we need...just trying to figure out which things she says are true, made up, or just plain lies now....but it is progress. She said that she wanted to make a star chart on the fridge (have tried this before with failure) for her behavior. She said she can not be mean at all in order to earn her star for the day. This tells me right here that she does not want to be mean...she can not control it. But it was a great night last night and relatively smooth morning...I enjoyed every hug and laugh I got last night!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Izzys Ma, post: 460471, member: 12799"] Thank you all so very much for your responses. Just hearing from others who have problems similar to what I am going through with my daughter has made a tremendous difference in my "hope" factor. I am going to try to address some of the questions and comments now. Someone had asked of she only tries to get me mad. Well, this is an interesting question. I would answer it with a yes and a no. Our home situation is somewhat different. My husband works 2nd shift in another state (comes home everyday but not until 12am) and we both only get to see him on the weekends. This has always been the case and my daughter only knows this as normal. So, given this, our daughter has her Daddy wrapped around her little finger. I have always been the one taking care of her, directing her, teaching her, etc. He is more of a playmate to her than anything else. (He is great father though and realizes that there is something wring). When he has changed his "game" with her such as asking her to do/not to do something, teaching her, etc she DOES NOT like it at all. When he does anything other than play with her she feels that he can not do anything right. I have chalked it up to the fact that I for the most part am the one who has mostly taken care of the important things in her life. So, given this, although he loves our daughter with all of his heart, he kind of takes a back seat when not playing with her. The anger and all of the negative behavior are directed to me and he does not say or do anything (he says he does not know what to do...I believe him). When she is with my mother she will act out like she does when she is with me. Again, my mother is the caretaker in this setting and my stepfather (my daughter's Papa since birth) is the playmate. She will tell you that Papa lets her do WHATEVER she wants. It is interesting to note that although my husband and her Papa are her "playmates" she will get mad at them if they play with her the wrong way. For example, she is fascinated and desires for you to make multiple voices (which I though initially was creative years ago) and pretend you are different people when playing different imaginary games such as doctor or school you have to the doctor and her mother or when playing school you have to the nice teacher, the mean principal, and he mean or nice classmate. This can get rather confusing and you (even Dad and Papa) get this wrong she will get very frustrated, yell, throw things, etc. Someone else had mentioned the book "The Out-of-Sync Child." I bought this when I bought "The Explosize Child" last week. The reason I bought this book was because she does have things that immediately stood out at me as being different such as hating the feel of paper (hard when she is in school....big hurdle last year in Kindergarten...insisted on using lotion on hands but teacher would not allow this) and not liking the feel of wood on her feet but will crawl on our deck with her hands and knees in order not to step on the wood with bare feet. I know something is up with her as this is not just a stage as her PCP has suggested at various different times. There are too many things that are off. I am really not looking for a diagnosis simply for diagnosis purposes for her either. I am looking to alter our (parents, caretakers) reactions and dealings with her to teach her how live her life as this is a long life to live. I am reluctant on the thought of giving her medications for any of these things as well. I have seen what the worng medications can do when I watched my brother in and out of the psychiatric ward. I still do not know if they him figured out yet. It may be worth mentioning that my daughter has other physical health issues as well: ~ [B]Childhood Auto-Immune Neutropenia [/B](diagnosis at 1 yr old) - Her bone marrow is creating an antibody that attacks her immune system and she was on anitbiotics everyday until she was 5 years old as a preventative. She was not sick often (thankfully, as a bacterial infection has the potential to kill her) but ever since she was 1 year we would have to bring her to the ER at a 100 degree fever to have blood drawn and antibiotics given intravenously. We no longer do this but she gets sick A LOT since she has been in school. She has been in 1st grade for not even 2 weeks and already had bronchitis and is on an antibiotic. Her specialist had advised that this issue would self-resolve by the time she as 5 years old but it has not. He has no answers as to why it has not. Her white cell count is relatively low at 2.3 due to this. She has minimal protection again bacterial infections and this is always a concern. [B]~ Allergies [/B](Environmental and very minor food) - Allergic to almost all animals (hives, breathing issues), trees, mold, dust, milk, pork, wheat and peanuts. I have been advised not to withhold any food from her because the reactions arent seen and are so small as indicated on the test results. Since learning this not too long ago I have stopped her from drinking whole milk and steer away from peanuts. These changes were easy as she was not big on either one of them. She has been diagnosed with allergy-induced asthma and recently had to get ear tubes put in because of her chronic sinusitis and recurrent ear infections. I am working with an ENT/allergist out of state and have just recently started her on sublingual immunotherapy (allergy drops under the tongue...less invasive than shots) to attempt to help her overcome some of these obstacles. [B]~ Chronic stomatitis [/B](large mouth ulcers - since around 2 years old) - Can have many of them at a time and no doctor has been able to say why. They thought it was related to her auto-immune disease. The made it extremely painful for her to eat. Grasping at straws and trying to rid of these things I thought that maybe she was allergic to flouride. I recently put her on baby training toothpaste and low and behold these ulcers disappeared within a week! YAY....figured out one of the issues. There is a lot to her and I have learned over the years that I really am her only and best advocate for anything health related. I am very attentive and try to learn as much as I can about her via observation, recollection and research. Now I am just waiting to hear back from the psychologist to schedule her in for her first appointment. I am also waiting for a call back from her PCP. I will be requesting some of the various different evaluations (I need referrals to docs around here that can do the types of things my daughter needs) suggested by some of you guys. I know that this was a very long post so thanks for reading it. I want to thank all of you for your ears...although I am new here I feel like I have someone to talk to that can at least understand the behavioral issues I am facing. [B]P.S. [/B]Although quite "busy" last night was a good one. I told my child that she did not deserve anyone to be mad at her all the time and that I loved her too much to get mad at her anymore. I told her that she could try and do anything she wanted to get me mad and it simply was not going to work anymore. She talks to more about how she is feeling now which is what we need...just trying to figure out which things she says are true, made up, or just plain lies now....but it is progress. She said that she wanted to make a star chart on the fridge (have tried this before with failure) for her behavior. She said she can not be mean at all in order to earn her star for the day. This tells me right here that she does not want to be mean...she can not control it. But it was a great night last night and relatively smooth morning...I enjoyed every hug and laugh I got last night! [/QUOTE]
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Please Help?? 6 YO Daughter Possible ODD, Borderline (BPD), or ADHD??
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