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Please Help, I'm So Lost...
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 116585" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi and Welcome, </p><p></p><p>Wow - sounds like you've been through the wringer and you've been hung out to dry. Not the way we usually think we're going to end up as the parents of children. </p><p></p><p>You said that you are detaching - and I make that (yeaahhhhh sound and squint my eyes, twist my mouth) not really. But that's okay for now. You've done what you thought was an appropriate action at the time, and now there is an innocent little life (a new playing card) to contend with. It would be my guess that the child is going to be a bargaining chip in the future. Are you prepared for THAT scenario? </p><p></p><p>I don't know anyone that could be prepared for that. But there are things you can do to help yourself. KNOW that you have done everything you could to raise your children despite their shortcomings. Tell yourself you did a good job even if on the most basic level at this point - tell yourself they are alive. They are at their ages adults. She will always be your little girl, but she's 26 - she made choices. I can tell you from my own heart - I had great parents and made totally idiotic choices in a husband, life and on and on. I got out - got help and moved on with my life and my sons. He's 17 he still chooses to live life without having his head up his butt. </p><p></p><p>If you are prepared to take your grandson - talk to some of the people here who are raising their grandkids - to me it's like having a child to raise with the most ridiculous of conditions placed on you by the parents (your difficult child's) and I don't know that I could do it. I would also highly recommend some individual counseling for you. It helps - it's not anything to be embarrassed about, rather it's a FANTASTIC way to tell your kids you care. You care enough about them - that you are going to get yourself to a place where their antics don't hurt you so badly and really REALLY learn the fine art of detaching. </p><p></p><p>Come here often - we're great listeners and an amazing group. </p><p></p><p>Hugs - YOU ARE NOT ALONE - you will be amazed to see how not alone you are. Grandson and all - </p><p></p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 116585, member: 4964"] Hi and Welcome, Wow - sounds like you've been through the wringer and you've been hung out to dry. Not the way we usually think we're going to end up as the parents of children. You said that you are detaching - and I make that (yeaahhhhh sound and squint my eyes, twist my mouth) not really. But that's okay for now. You've done what you thought was an appropriate action at the time, and now there is an innocent little life (a new playing card) to contend with. It would be my guess that the child is going to be a bargaining chip in the future. Are you prepared for THAT scenario? I don't know anyone that could be prepared for that. But there are things you can do to help yourself. KNOW that you have done everything you could to raise your children despite their shortcomings. Tell yourself you did a good job even if on the most basic level at this point - tell yourself they are alive. They are at their ages adults. She will always be your little girl, but she's 26 - she made choices. I can tell you from my own heart - I had great parents and made totally idiotic choices in a husband, life and on and on. I got out - got help and moved on with my life and my sons. He's 17 he still chooses to live life without having his head up his butt. If you are prepared to take your grandson - talk to some of the people here who are raising their grandkids - to me it's like having a child to raise with the most ridiculous of conditions placed on you by the parents (your difficult child's) and I don't know that I could do it. I would also highly recommend some individual counseling for you. It helps - it's not anything to be embarrassed about, rather it's a FANTASTIC way to tell your kids you care. You care enough about them - that you are going to get yourself to a place where their antics don't hurt you so badly and really REALLY learn the fine art of detaching. Come here often - we're great listeners and an amazing group. Hugs - YOU ARE NOT ALONE - you will be amazed to see how not alone you are. Grandson and all - Star [/QUOTE]
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