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PLEASE help me with our 12 year old son!
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<blockquote data-quote="nikiani" data-source="post: 598904" data-attributes="member: 16375"><p>Thank you Thank you Thank you for all of your kind words and support...I am crying right now because I know everything that was said is absolutely true about Ian. We are trying to step back and view this from other parents eyes. As for Ians first 4 years....and I apologize I didn't get into any of this earlier...We are pretty confident that his mother drank and possibly did drugs. After Ians first year, My husband realized there was a problem with his wife and took Ian out of the situation and divorced her. So actually, the contact with her really diminished at age 1. My husband would come home from work and find Ian in the same diaper that he'd been wearing all day. Sarah ( the bio mom ) would leave him in his crib for extended periods of time and leave him scream. My husband wasn't aware of a lot of these things but when he did find out, he did the absolute best he could as an almost single father. So, Ian was in daycare and also babysat by numerous people including Sarahs parents. As for problems with animals, Ian acts very loving towards them but we are worried about what he does to them when nobody is looking. Our wonderful dog who we adopted 4 years ago has suddenly started to run away from Ian and not listen to him whatsoever. Our dog does not want to sleep in Ians room anymore either. Ian has also had 2 ferrets....one passed away a couple years ago and he has "accidentally" squeezed the remaining ones neck until she choked. He did bawl over this. I don't know how real those emotions actually were...He also got sick of taking care of her and suggested that we "kill her in a nice way". I do have a baby video monitor in my girls room. I also have audio monitors in the other rooms. He is going to be starting a program called the "wraparound program" as a step to who knows what! Do any of you have info on the treatment centers? MidwestMom, I APPRECIATE all of the info you took the time to type out for me and I really have taken it to heart. I know something needs to be done and I'm trying to figure out all of the right steps and ways to deal with this most difficult and confusing situation. I have thought too about his abuse allegations and as he gets older and more creative with the accusations, I can't even possibly think of the nightmare of dealing with that and then possibly losing our other beautiful children. My thought is treatment center, boarding school, military school....etc. The problem being that they are so expensive....We wiped out our savings from fighting in court with bio mom for the last 2 years to protect Ian...Cost us close to $20,000....part of this was also a loan we had to take out so we can't possibly afford thousands more.....I'm sorry if I am just rambling on and on but I feel like I have so much to say and thank you again for all of the comments! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nikiani, post: 598904, member: 16375"] Thank you Thank you Thank you for all of your kind words and support...I am crying right now because I know everything that was said is absolutely true about Ian. We are trying to step back and view this from other parents eyes. As for Ians first 4 years....and I apologize I didn't get into any of this earlier...We are pretty confident that his mother drank and possibly did drugs. After Ians first year, My husband realized there was a problem with his wife and took Ian out of the situation and divorced her. So actually, the contact with her really diminished at age 1. My husband would come home from work and find Ian in the same diaper that he'd been wearing all day. Sarah ( the bio mom ) would leave him in his crib for extended periods of time and leave him scream. My husband wasn't aware of a lot of these things but when he did find out, he did the absolute best he could as an almost single father. So, Ian was in daycare and also babysat by numerous people including Sarahs parents. As for problems with animals, Ian acts very loving towards them but we are worried about what he does to them when nobody is looking. Our wonderful dog who we adopted 4 years ago has suddenly started to run away from Ian and not listen to him whatsoever. Our dog does not want to sleep in Ians room anymore either. Ian has also had 2 ferrets....one passed away a couple years ago and he has "accidentally" squeezed the remaining ones neck until she choked. He did bawl over this. I don't know how real those emotions actually were...He also got sick of taking care of her and suggested that we "kill her in a nice way". I do have a baby video monitor in my girls room. I also have audio monitors in the other rooms. He is going to be starting a program called the "wraparound program" as a step to who knows what! Do any of you have info on the treatment centers? MidwestMom, I APPRECIATE all of the info you took the time to type out for me and I really have taken it to heart. I know something needs to be done and I'm trying to figure out all of the right steps and ways to deal with this most difficult and confusing situation. I have thought too about his abuse allegations and as he gets older and more creative with the accusations, I can't even possibly think of the nightmare of dealing with that and then possibly losing our other beautiful children. My thought is treatment center, boarding school, military school....etc. The problem being that they are so expensive....We wiped out our savings from fighting in court with bio mom for the last 2 years to protect Ian...Cost us close to $20,000....part of this was also a loan we had to take out so we can't possibly afford thousands more.....I'm sorry if I am just rambling on and on but I feel like I have so much to say and thank you again for all of the comments! :) [/QUOTE]
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