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PLEASE help me with our 12 year old son!
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<blockquote data-quote="Liahona" data-source="post: 599072"><p>While my son isn't diagnosis Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) we have had to send him an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) because we couldn't keep the other kids safe from him. I have some suggestions. </p><p></p><p>First, alarms on the bedroom doors. Your daughters are young enough and there are only 2 of them that having them sleep with you would be easy. Put an alarm on the inside of your bedroom door (and theirs if you don't have them in your room) and the inside of the windows. Put an alarm on the outside of his door. If his room isn't close enough that you can hear the alarm go off put a baby monitor by it and keep the other end with you. </p><p></p><p>Have someone else take care of your dogs until you find an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for Ian. </p><p></p><p>Always keep your daughters or Ian in sight at all times. I used baby gates to keep the other kids where I wanted them. I would make a buffer between my son and the other kids. His time out spot was in his room (with the door shut) and I'd put up the baby gate so they couldn't get anywhere near his door. Take them into the bathroom with you. Only shower when there is another adult who understands there or when Ian is out of the house. I would have to get 2 babysitters in 2 different houses the few times I had to leave them. No one would really believe me and he was just so fast. I made sure the house that my son was in didn't have any other kids in it. </p><p></p><p>I made sure my son had a full time aide to watch him because of the sexual notes he was sending girls in his class. Turns out the principal didn't know about it until I told her. The teacher was taking care of it herself. </p><p></p><p>I always had my phone and keys in my pocket. My phone to call for help and the keys because he would lock me out of the house with the other kids and himself in the house. </p><p></p><p>I talked to my neighbors and made them aware of my son (even if they didn't believe me). I did this for 2 reasons. First, I didn't want them to not be warned if he did something to their kids. Second, if I needed help I needed someone close to call. Set up a crisis plan. My son also dramatically changes his behavior in front of other adults, so our crisis plan is to invite one of my neighbors to come sit on the couch. (They probably think I'm nuts, but my other kids are alive and well; which is the end result I want.)</p><p></p><p>Keep track of everything. If Ian makes improper statements to kids on the bus get the bus driver to write down what he said, date it, and sign it. If he is doing stuff at school get the teacher to write it down, date it, and sign it. Keep a behavior book of what he does at home. This does a few things. First, it will help with cps when they show up. Notice I said when not if. Second, it will help the professionals working with him. Third, it might help you get him help. </p><p></p><p>Is there any way you could get him on SSI? The results of the neuropsychologist and written notes from the school would be good to have for this. I'm not sure if it is like this in every state, but here you get on Medicaid with SSI and then Medicaid can pay for a Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I've been told the key to getting SSI quickly is good records. My son got on it quickly. </p><p></p><p>We also have wraparound. It has been very nice. We started right before my son went into the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). To get us through the few months before he could get into the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) the mental health place had 2 case mangers come to our house or son's school for a few hours each day. They did that until a bed opened up. </p><p></p><p>He stayed in for a year and gained about 2 years worth of social skills. I'm not saying you will have the same experience, but Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was very good for my son. Also, sending him to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was not giving up on him. It was a lot of work on my part to go to all the staff mtgs and therapies and visits. I was still very involved as his mother.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Liahona, post: 599072"] While my son isn't diagnosis Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) we have had to send him an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) because we couldn't keep the other kids safe from him. I have some suggestions. First, alarms on the bedroom doors. Your daughters are young enough and there are only 2 of them that having them sleep with you would be easy. Put an alarm on the inside of your bedroom door (and theirs if you don't have them in your room) and the inside of the windows. Put an alarm on the outside of his door. If his room isn't close enough that you can hear the alarm go off put a baby monitor by it and keep the other end with you. Have someone else take care of your dogs until you find an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for Ian. Always keep your daughters or Ian in sight at all times. I used baby gates to keep the other kids where I wanted them. I would make a buffer between my son and the other kids. His time out spot was in his room (with the door shut) and I'd put up the baby gate so they couldn't get anywhere near his door. Take them into the bathroom with you. Only shower when there is another adult who understands there or when Ian is out of the house. I would have to get 2 babysitters in 2 different houses the few times I had to leave them. No one would really believe me and he was just so fast. I made sure the house that my son was in didn't have any other kids in it. I made sure my son had a full time aide to watch him because of the sexual notes he was sending girls in his class. Turns out the principal didn't know about it until I told her. The teacher was taking care of it herself. I always had my phone and keys in my pocket. My phone to call for help and the keys because he would lock me out of the house with the other kids and himself in the house. I talked to my neighbors and made them aware of my son (even if they didn't believe me). I did this for 2 reasons. First, I didn't want them to not be warned if he did something to their kids. Second, if I needed help I needed someone close to call. Set up a crisis plan. My son also dramatically changes his behavior in front of other adults, so our crisis plan is to invite one of my neighbors to come sit on the couch. (They probably think I'm nuts, but my other kids are alive and well; which is the end result I want.) Keep track of everything. If Ian makes improper statements to kids on the bus get the bus driver to write down what he said, date it, and sign it. If he is doing stuff at school get the teacher to write it down, date it, and sign it. Keep a behavior book of what he does at home. This does a few things. First, it will help with cps when they show up. Notice I said when not if. Second, it will help the professionals working with him. Third, it might help you get him help. Is there any way you could get him on SSI? The results of the neuropsychologist and written notes from the school would be good to have for this. I'm not sure if it is like this in every state, but here you get on Medicaid with SSI and then Medicaid can pay for a Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I've been told the key to getting SSI quickly is good records. My son got on it quickly. We also have wraparound. It has been very nice. We started right before my son went into the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). To get us through the few months before he could get into the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) the mental health place had 2 case mangers come to our house or son's school for a few hours each day. They did that until a bed opened up. He stayed in for a year and gained about 2 years worth of social skills. I'm not saying you will have the same experience, but Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was very good for my son. Also, sending him to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was not giving up on him. It was a lot of work on my part to go to all the staff mtgs and therapies and visits. I was still very involved as his mother. [/QUOTE]
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