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PLEASE help me with our 12 year old son!
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<blockquote data-quote="nikiani" data-source="post: 599480" data-attributes="member: 16375"><p>Liahona, I have tried the shadowing thing with Ian.....we have tried solitary confinement....which consisted of us taking everything out of his room except for his bed, a lamp, and a pillow and his blankets....he obviously was allowed to use the bathroom and eat regular meals & shower daily...we did this for a few days and it was one of the only things that seemed to help. (for a Very short period of time) I just want to mention that this "solitary confinement" was recommended by a pediatrician. And YES, we have been tempted to put a padlock on his door, but have thought about what the ramifications would be from CPS thinking that we were harming this child rather than protecting our others and ourselves. We try to keep a very good thought process when it comes to that because I think you are all right, WHEN CPS comes....not IF....he was only in the public school for a few months this year and like I mentioned, his father and I are apparently complete abusive jerks according to him....and I don't know HALF of what hes told various people. Its is only gonna get worse....I am so scared of the day when someone actually believes him.</p><p>MidwestMom, You are so wise...he would learn how to dismantle an alarm in 10 minutes or less. He could probably dismantle an entire car engine and have it put back together in less than a day. He is obsessive about K'NEX and Legos....and while he is very talented with building....there is an almost bizarre side of his mind that cant stop when it comes to these things....(Its very hard to describe) </p><p>You are also right about NO conscience.....we have been questioning for years...."where is his sense of regret?....conscience??....remorse?" There is NONE. He can cry the tears, say the right words, con the right people for attention and gifts but when it comes down to it, he will NEVER and has NEVER ever apologized for anything unless he was told to do so or was explained over and over that it was the right thing to do when he hurt someone.....We have hit an opposite extreme now at 12 yrs old where he will say "i'm sorry" for everything....I think hes figured out that it somewhat kept people from catching on to his behavior. His ability to try and dominate every conversation & situation is just simply unreal. The most simple thing....."Ian, put the lasagna away please"....turns into a huge discussion about "what kind of container, where it should go, why he cant put it away, if its still hot, etc etc..."This is ALL **** day with him. </p><p>MidwestMom, Please don't apologize for being blunt, honest, and to the point. You are right, there is not a single medication in the world that will give our son a conscience....I'm glad that you aren't sugarcoating things because it leaves us with the harsh reality that something needs to be done NOW. My husband has already told me that he will do whatever he needs to do no matter how hard it is, to protect the rest of the family. ...Again,THANK YOU ALL....I hope someone else is able to read thru this thread and get some help and ideas....This is not what ANY parent EVER imagines that they will have to deal with....even on the most small scale....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nikiani, post: 599480, member: 16375"] Liahona, I have tried the shadowing thing with Ian.....we have tried solitary confinement....which consisted of us taking everything out of his room except for his bed, a lamp, and a pillow and his blankets....he obviously was allowed to use the bathroom and eat regular meals & shower daily...we did this for a few days and it was one of the only things that seemed to help. (for a Very short period of time) I just want to mention that this "solitary confinement" was recommended by a pediatrician. And YES, we have been tempted to put a padlock on his door, but have thought about what the ramifications would be from CPS thinking that we were harming this child rather than protecting our others and ourselves. We try to keep a very good thought process when it comes to that because I think you are all right, WHEN CPS comes....not IF....he was only in the public school for a few months this year and like I mentioned, his father and I are apparently complete abusive jerks according to him....and I don't know HALF of what hes told various people. Its is only gonna get worse....I am so scared of the day when someone actually believes him. MidwestMom, You are so wise...he would learn how to dismantle an alarm in 10 minutes or less. He could probably dismantle an entire car engine and have it put back together in less than a day. He is obsessive about K'NEX and Legos....and while he is very talented with building....there is an almost bizarre side of his mind that cant stop when it comes to these things....(Its very hard to describe) You are also right about NO conscience.....we have been questioning for years...."where is his sense of regret?....conscience??....remorse?" There is NONE. He can cry the tears, say the right words, con the right people for attention and gifts but when it comes down to it, he will NEVER and has NEVER ever apologized for anything unless he was told to do so or was explained over and over that it was the right thing to do when he hurt someone.....We have hit an opposite extreme now at 12 yrs old where he will say "i'm sorry" for everything....I think hes figured out that it somewhat kept people from catching on to his behavior. His ability to try and dominate every conversation & situation is just simply unreal. The most simple thing....."Ian, put the lasagna away please"....turns into a huge discussion about "what kind of container, where it should go, why he cant put it away, if its still hot, etc etc..."This is ALL **** day with him. MidwestMom, Please don't apologize for being blunt, honest, and to the point. You are right, there is not a single medication in the world that will give our son a conscience....I'm glad that you aren't sugarcoating things because it leaves us with the harsh reality that something needs to be done NOW. My husband has already told me that he will do whatever he needs to do no matter how hard it is, to protect the rest of the family. ...Again,THANK YOU ALL....I hope someone else is able to read thru this thread and get some help and ideas....This is not what ANY parent EVER imagines that they will have to deal with....even on the most small scale.... [/QUOTE]
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