Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Please help
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="jaeco" data-source="post: 290755" data-attributes="member: 1576"><p>I'm so sorry you had to endure all this and a stroke. How ironic, I keep thinking something traumatic will happen to her to get her to see the light...just like when I finally got the courage and strength to *save* her and her sister when I was divorced/escaped from their dad....that *trauma* seemed to finally change him, so it will probably be me that has the traumatic event that causes me to change and not her....I never thought of that before. Just another twist in all this I guess. I do hope you're okay. I don't know if I'll be p'd once I realize she'll be able to make it without my help...I can't even fathom that thought yet. I do need to detach...I know this...know it....but putting it into practice..well, you know how hard that is. I have difficulty just making it through the morning...money for gas, how will I get the 20 miles to wherever, etc., and I just keep throwing that money at her. I'm sure your son is better now and I imagine my daughter will be if I stop this. I long ago realized if she wanted something, had to do something, if you didn't do it relatively soon you'd learn to regret it big time. From the time she was little. She eventually, whether it takes an hour, a week or a month, will get what she wants and that pattern was so reinforced by me and my mother that we've done her no service. Sometimes I'd do things just to keep her from hurting her little sister. She has had difficulty for a long time...but you're right...I so need to stop becuase it's not helping. I will check out the detachment area. You're so right in what you said about wanting your son to be independent, to not feel like you have to give him money, but get to the point that just when you want to do something for him you do, and not be forced to. That is what is ruining our relationship the most I think. If you can do this I hope I can. I imagine it didn't happen overnight but what a relief it must be.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jaeco, post: 290755, member: 1576"] I'm so sorry you had to endure all this and a stroke. How ironic, I keep thinking something traumatic will happen to her to get her to see the light...just like when I finally got the courage and strength to *save* her and her sister when I was divorced/escaped from their dad....that *trauma* seemed to finally change him, so it will probably be me that has the traumatic event that causes me to change and not her....I never thought of that before. Just another twist in all this I guess. I do hope you're okay. I don't know if I'll be p'd once I realize she'll be able to make it without my help...I can't even fathom that thought yet. I do need to detach...I know this...know it....but putting it into practice..well, you know how hard that is. I have difficulty just making it through the morning...money for gas, how will I get the 20 miles to wherever, etc., and I just keep throwing that money at her. I'm sure your son is better now and I imagine my daughter will be if I stop this. I long ago realized if she wanted something, had to do something, if you didn't do it relatively soon you'd learn to regret it big time. From the time she was little. She eventually, whether it takes an hour, a week or a month, will get what she wants and that pattern was so reinforced by me and my mother that we've done her no service. Sometimes I'd do things just to keep her from hurting her little sister. She has had difficulty for a long time...but you're right...I so need to stop becuase it's not helping. I will check out the detachment area. You're so right in what you said about wanting your son to be independent, to not feel like you have to give him money, but get to the point that just when you want to do something for him you do, and not be forced to. That is what is ruining our relationship the most I think. If you can do this I hope I can. I imagine it didn't happen overnight but what a relief it must be. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Please help
Top