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Please, Higher Being, tell me...
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 66009" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It may have just been too stimulating a day. We get a lot more raging in the evenings. difficult child 3 was beginning to get wound up last night, I was able to take him aside and say, "Please be aware, you're a bit more tired than usual and you seem to be a bit more irritable than usual."</p><p>He said right back, "It's not my fault, if everyone would stop hassling me..."</p><p></p><p>I had to turn it off fast and he seemed to be focussing on blame, so I pointed out, "This is NOT about blame, it's just me making an observation. I'm not hassling you, I'm concerned for you and trying to help you gain some control - I know it's much more difficult when you've had a busy day."</p><p></p><p>He did hold it together, but it was difficult and it took all our concerted efforts to keep our own cool so as not to escalate him. In the evenings when he's rude, we tend to not react unless we feel he can cope with it. He really is far less equipped to cope when he's tired and medications have worn off.</p><p></p><p>And a thought about your brother - he reckons nothing is wrong, so I think when difficult child is raging is the BEST time to call him. Sometimes talking to a more remote family member can calm a raging difficult child - not that the other family member has more power, it's because they're more of an unknown quantity. Our difficult children tend to show their worst to those they feel safest with.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 66009, member: 1991"] It may have just been too stimulating a day. We get a lot more raging in the evenings. difficult child 3 was beginning to get wound up last night, I was able to take him aside and say, "Please be aware, you're a bit more tired than usual and you seem to be a bit more irritable than usual." He said right back, "It's not my fault, if everyone would stop hassling me..." I had to turn it off fast and he seemed to be focussing on blame, so I pointed out, "This is NOT about blame, it's just me making an observation. I'm not hassling you, I'm concerned for you and trying to help you gain some control - I know it's much more difficult when you've had a busy day." He did hold it together, but it was difficult and it took all our concerted efforts to keep our own cool so as not to escalate him. In the evenings when he's rude, we tend to not react unless we feel he can cope with it. He really is far less equipped to cope when he's tired and medications have worn off. And a thought about your brother - he reckons nothing is wrong, so I think when difficult child is raging is the BEST time to call him. Sometimes talking to a more remote family member can calm a raging difficult child - not that the other family member has more power, it's because they're more of an unknown quantity. Our difficult children tend to show their worst to those they feel safest with. Marg [/QUOTE]
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