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General Parenting
Please tell me how to not think about GFGD.
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<blockquote data-quote="helpme" data-source="post: 337571" data-attributes="member: 8202"><p>I set goals. Small goals. Over and over again. I notice that sometimes</p><p>my definition of "small" goals soon become "big" as I am accomplishing them.</p><p>Personal goals and achievements are my way of showing difficult child a </p><p>healthier life, satisfying myself, and distracting me from difficult child. There</p><p>might be a day when they use my detachment methods for themselves</p><p>with their own difficult child issues.</p><p></p><p>Some of my goals are maybe redecorating a room, planning a vacation,</p><p>etcetera. But other goals are I guess rather unusual, such as how</p><p>in the world I am going to make the grumpy old cashier at the gas</p><p>station smile, or various RAOK (random acts of kindness) for various </p><p>people, or they might be hobby-like such as cooking, gardening, fish, </p><p>or whatever topic. Sometimes I really confuse myself and tell myself</p><p>that the next accomplishment, such as making someone smile, </p><p>results in the reward of another goal such as after I make ten people</p><p>smile in one day before work, then I reward myself with the goal of</p><p>preparing to purchase a new car. </p><p></p><p>Cooking involves going to the grocery store, so that: creates small</p><p>trips after I spend a whole evening, or possibly a night planning</p><p>everything. Crafts involve going to the craft store (where I might</p><p>also create the next goal after I completed the first).</p><p></p><p>I also write this stuff down in a journal. Usually, I notice that I wrote</p><p>something in there, decipherable only by myself that shows exactly </p><p>how/why the goal came to be...(usually difficult child related). </p><p></p><p>On lighter times when difficult child's issues aren't so difficult, I find I fall</p><p>asleep to visualizing new goals. For more difficult times, I might detail</p><p>a whole week of recipes that require an hour of cooking and </p><p>an hour of desert baking or whatever.</p><p></p><p>Distraction, distraction, and distraction. Doesn't matter what it is,</p><p>as long as you can stay focused on anything besides difficult child.</p><p></p><p>Best of luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="helpme, post: 337571, member: 8202"] I set goals. Small goals. Over and over again. I notice that sometimes my definition of "small" goals soon become "big" as I am accomplishing them. Personal goals and achievements are my way of showing difficult child a healthier life, satisfying myself, and distracting me from difficult child. There might be a day when they use my detachment methods for themselves with their own difficult child issues. Some of my goals are maybe redecorating a room, planning a vacation, etcetera. But other goals are I guess rather unusual, such as how in the world I am going to make the grumpy old cashier at the gas station smile, or various RAOK (random acts of kindness) for various people, or they might be hobby-like such as cooking, gardening, fish, or whatever topic. Sometimes I really confuse myself and tell myself that the next accomplishment, such as making someone smile, results in the reward of another goal such as after I make ten people smile in one day before work, then I reward myself with the goal of preparing to purchase a new car. Cooking involves going to the grocery store, so that: creates small trips after I spend a whole evening, or possibly a night planning everything. Crafts involve going to the craft store (where I might also create the next goal after I completed the first). I also write this stuff down in a journal. Usually, I notice that I wrote something in there, decipherable only by myself that shows exactly how/why the goal came to be...(usually difficult child related). On lighter times when difficult child's issues aren't so difficult, I find I fall asleep to visualizing new goals. For more difficult times, I might detail a whole week of recipes that require an hour of cooking and an hour of desert baking or whatever. Distraction, distraction, and distraction. Doesn't matter what it is, as long as you can stay focused on anything besides difficult child. Best of luck. [/QUOTE]
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Please tell me how to not think about GFGD.
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