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please tell me its ok to feel bad
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 356501" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry things are so rough. Sending lots and lots of hugs that you can wrap yourself up in like a big snugly blanket!</p><p></p><p>The doctor CAN diagnose a child. That is often how it is done. The SW was wrong. She may not like the diagnosis but it has been given. I personally would push for more testing by a neuropsychologist because ODD is a pretty useless diagnosis. It tells what is happening but gives NO clue as to why or how to help it.</p><p></p><p>It really sounds like the family NEEDS the break while G is in the group home. It does NOT mean you don't love her. It means that you love her enough to do what needs to be done and you love the family enough to keep what they need in mind as you make plans.</p><p></p><p>The chances that they will take your kids because you sent daughter to the group home for a weekend for respite is pretty minimal. Budgets have been slashed so much that they do almost anything to keep from removing a child. They simply don't have the money to do it. </p><p></p><p>If they start threatening to take your kids then you need a lawyer. </p><p></p><p>As for G, is she threatening to hurt herself? Do you think she is serious? If she intends to kill herself then she needs to be in a psychiatric hospital. But it must be visible to the intake people that she is suicidal, or an immediate threat to herself or others. </p><p></p><p>I think you need to take some time for yourself. make a cup of tea and go sit outside, or go to the library or a coffee shop and have some time to recharge. Take a book with you, or crossword puzzles or something. </p><p></p><p>Your difficult child needs help, but so does the entire family. You cannot sacrifice the other family members on the altar of difficult child's needs. It simply isn't sane or smart. </p><p></p><p>Who set up the group home for you? Did the doctor order it? Or someone else? Is it set up for weekend respite? Or some other purpose?</p><p></p><p>Hugs!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 356501, member: 1233"] I am sorry things are so rough. Sending lots and lots of hugs that you can wrap yourself up in like a big snugly blanket! The doctor CAN diagnose a child. That is often how it is done. The SW was wrong. She may not like the diagnosis but it has been given. I personally would push for more testing by a neuropsychologist because ODD is a pretty useless diagnosis. It tells what is happening but gives NO clue as to why or how to help it. It really sounds like the family NEEDS the break while G is in the group home. It does NOT mean you don't love her. It means that you love her enough to do what needs to be done and you love the family enough to keep what they need in mind as you make plans. The chances that they will take your kids because you sent daughter to the group home for a weekend for respite is pretty minimal. Budgets have been slashed so much that they do almost anything to keep from removing a child. They simply don't have the money to do it. If they start threatening to take your kids then you need a lawyer. As for G, is she threatening to hurt herself? Do you think she is serious? If she intends to kill herself then she needs to be in a psychiatric hospital. But it must be visible to the intake people that she is suicidal, or an immediate threat to herself or others. I think you need to take some time for yourself. make a cup of tea and go sit outside, or go to the library or a coffee shop and have some time to recharge. Take a book with you, or crossword puzzles or something. Your difficult child needs help, but so does the entire family. You cannot sacrifice the other family members on the altar of difficult child's needs. It simply isn't sane or smart. Who set up the group home for you? Did the doctor order it? Or someone else? Is it set up for weekend respite? Or some other purpose? Hugs! [/QUOTE]
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