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<blockquote data-quote="'Chelle" data-source="post: 132312" data-attributes="member: 1161"><p>Never done the training. I agree that while there's consequences for the bad there has to be something for the good as well. I would take away my difficult child's video games (what he cares about most) and let him earn it back. My husband say why do you always give it back, you should just take it away. Well then, what would be the point of him ever having better behaviors, if he gets nothing in return for it. You could try to sit down with him and discuss what your expectations are, the things you feel are most important to accomplish, and what he gets or consequences for achieving or not. Leave the little stuff (for us was forgetting about a spotless room LOL) and worry about the big (for us was school and doing what he had to for that). There has to be something he DOES care about, tho it's probably not easy to get out of him what it might be, whether it's going into a sport, or playing guitar or video games, everyone has something they want. I found once I started asking my difficult child for input, he did better. Not perfect, but at least he stopped getting suspended from school. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/faint.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":faint:" title="faint :faint:" data-shortname=":faint:" /> My difficult child didn't always want to sit down and talk about things, but eventually he came to realize he COULD tell me things and I wouldn't yell and he'll now come out with things I never thought he would say.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="'Chelle, post: 132312, member: 1161"] Never done the training. I agree that while there's consequences for the bad there has to be something for the good as well. I would take away my difficult child's video games (what he cares about most) and let him earn it back. My husband say why do you always give it back, you should just take it away. Well then, what would be the point of him ever having better behaviors, if he gets nothing in return for it. You could try to sit down with him and discuss what your expectations are, the things you feel are most important to accomplish, and what he gets or consequences for achieving or not. Leave the little stuff (for us was forgetting about a spotless room LOL) and worry about the big (for us was school and doing what he had to for that). There has to be something he DOES care about, tho it's probably not easy to get out of him what it might be, whether it's going into a sport, or playing guitar or video games, everyone has something they want. I found once I started asking my difficult child for input, he did better. Not perfect, but at least he stopped getting suspended from school. :knockedout: My difficult child didn't always want to sit down and talk about things, but eventually he came to realize he COULD tell me things and I wouldn't yell and he'll now come out with things I never thought he would say. [/QUOTE]
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