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Substance Abuse
Pothead Detente, or Simply Defeated?
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<blockquote data-quote="Mikey" data-source="post: 45722" data-attributes="member: 3579"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Also, if he feels that you and your wife have over-controlled him (as my son feels about his dad and me, and he's right...) this may simply be his way of detaching from that.</div></div></p><p></p><p>That's the way he's acting, but I don't know why. When he was younger, he was a competitive gymnast, and spent nearly every day in the gym after school. We never made him go, and always told him when it wasn't fun any more that he should quit.</p><p></p><p>He did it until early 8th grade, when he stopped because he was too tall and his back hurt every day. That was also about the time he started to have real problems with ADD and homework. But other than trying to keep him focused on school, it's almost the exact opposite: we were completely clueless, and he had our complete trust and the freedom to hang around his "friends" (now known as the Pothead Posse) without much intervention from us.</p><p></p><p>It was only AFTER he "came clean" that we went a little nuts, and gave him any reason whatsoever to think we're over-controlling him. We did, but it was because of HIS actions. To this day, if he'd not told us what was happening, and didn't exhibit any more "signs" now than he did then, we still wouldn't have a clue, and he'd still have his little private pothead life all to himself.</p><p></p><p>wife thinks that he 'fessed up from a guilty conscience, actually convinced himself for the first few weeks afterwards that he wanted help, and that we over-reacted and lost our chance when he shut down. It's been a battle of wills ever since.</p><p></p><p>If anything, he probably regrets every day ever telling us the truth. If he's angry with himself about anything, it's probably for not realizing how gullible and naive we were, and that his momentary loss of reason in confessing was not worth following year of misery on his part (he's even said this). Funny how everyone else's feelings, desires, and concerns don't enter into his equations.</p><p></p><p>But then again, he's an addict.</p><p></p><p> :rolleyes: </p><p></p><p>Mikey</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mikey, post: 45722, member: 3579"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Also, if he feels that you and your wife have over-controlled him (as my son feels about his dad and me, and he's right...) this may simply be his way of detaching from that.</div></div> That's the way he's acting, but I don't know why. When he was younger, he was a competitive gymnast, and spent nearly every day in the gym after school. We never made him go, and always told him when it wasn't fun any more that he should quit. He did it until early 8th grade, when he stopped because he was too tall and his back hurt every day. That was also about the time he started to have real problems with ADD and homework. But other than trying to keep him focused on school, it's almost the exact opposite: we were completely clueless, and he had our complete trust and the freedom to hang around his "friends" (now known as the Pothead Posse) without much intervention from us. It was only AFTER he "came clean" that we went a little nuts, and gave him any reason whatsoever to think we're over-controlling him. We did, but it was because of HIS actions. To this day, if he'd not told us what was happening, and didn't exhibit any more "signs" now than he did then, we still wouldn't have a clue, and he'd still have his little private pothead life all to himself. wife thinks that he 'fessed up from a guilty conscience, actually convinced himself for the first few weeks afterwards that he wanted help, and that we over-reacted and lost our chance when he shut down. It's been a battle of wills ever since. If anything, he probably regrets every day ever telling us the truth. If he's angry with himself about anything, it's probably for not realizing how gullible and naive we were, and that his momentary loss of reason in confessing was not worth following year of misery on his part (he's even said this). Funny how everyone else's feelings, desires, and concerns don't enter into his equations. But then again, he's an addict. [img]:rolleyes:[/img] Mikey [/QUOTE]
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