I remember feeling the way you do Mikey. It's not a fun place. Your thoughts are constantly on what did you all do or should do or should have done. What did difficult child do or didn't do or should or should not have done.
It will get better. It may get worse first,...but it will get better. Just don't play into his hand and stand your ground. Don't get sucked into having a discussion and keep the consistency.
difficult child 2 turns 20 this year. There is a huge difference in him. He is his own man, but he also enjoys being with the family. Not too too much, but he always comes to family gatherings. It does get better. They do remember what you taught them. They just need time to put it into action.
Is he going to be the college bound kid who's life you'd just like to live over again? nope, that's why you are here. That's why we are all here.
Disappointing does so little to describe how I feel. Robbed, violated, cheated are more like it. The reasons....to many to name and too few to define. It is what it is.