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Substance Abuse
Pothead Detente, or Simply Defeated?
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<blockquote data-quote="Mikey" data-source="post: 45944" data-attributes="member: 3579"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">However, because of his court-ordered stint in a group home where drug/alcohol counseling, anger management, life skills, etc. are a mandatory part of his day, we've seen a HUGE change in him.</div></div></p><p></p><p>If only it were that easy for us. Here in podunk, pot is so rampant that the cops won't even bother you unless you have more than they think you need for your own use. Since the beast mooches from others, he never has any on him any more, and doesn't do anything else (that I know of) that would get the police involved - much as I may secretly wish that to happen &lt;sigh&gt;. </p><p></p><p>At this point, losing his freedom and gaining a new roommate named "Bubba" who thinks he has pretty teeth may be the only thing to scare him into a different view of life. But I don't think that'll happen any time soon. If anything, he's toning down his usage so that it doesn't bother anyone but us. </p><p>:grrr: </p><p></p><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...the Catch 22 is that, while kids our son's age are using drugs, they aren't able to do the maturing and emotional growing that are so important at this time in their lives, and they get further and further behind in that regard, which leads them to use more and more drugs.</div></div></p><p>Same thing said by his therapist. If they start using when they're 14 (like the beast did), then they stay 14 emotionally as long as they're using. And I believe it, because when I have to deal with him it's like dealing with your typical, self-centered, oblivious-to-real-life young teen. </p><p></p><p>The only thing that's saved his skinny rear is that even at that age, he had some pretty impressive skills he could use in both athletics and the arts. Even though he hasn't lifted a finger in three years to improve himself, he's still far ahead of his peers in the arts. So he has something he can fall back on, if needed. His health has gone south, so athletics is out. And when someone spoon-feeds him his schoolwork (like he gets at the alt. ed. program), he's still capable of making A's in hard subjects.</p><p></p><p>But regardless of whatever (stagnant) skills he may have, he's still a 14YO in a near-18YO body, who wants the bennies of an 18YO but still wants to act like a 14YO. Not news to anyone here, just talking out loud (as usual). But <strong>my</strong> epiphany was that as long as he was still using, had a bed, three meals a day, health insurance, and the security of four walls around him, he may never progress beyond that 14YO mentality.</p><p></p><p>Which means he may have to leave the house, as soon as it's legal, to learn. And that was the final realization that scared me - having a 14YO difficult child thrust into the world, unprepared, but unable to live at home any more. One of his current "friends" in the Pothead Posse just got that as <em>his</em> graduation present - two suitcases, 200 dollars, the title to his car, and an escort out the door. According to the mother of another member of the posse, next year her kid may not even have a week after his graduation day to start his new life somewhere else.</p><p></p><p>Argh! Why does it have to be this way?</p><p></p><p>Mikey</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mikey, post: 45944, member: 3579"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">However, because of his court-ordered stint in a group home where drug/alcohol counseling, anger management, life skills, etc. are a mandatory part of his day, we've seen a HUGE change in him.</div></div> If only it were that easy for us. Here in podunk, pot is so rampant that the cops won't even bother you unless you have more than they think you need for your own use. Since the beast mooches from others, he never has any on him any more, and doesn't do anything else (that I know of) that would get the police involved - much as I may secretly wish that to happen <sigh>. At this point, losing his freedom and gaining a new roommate named "Bubba" who thinks he has pretty teeth may be the only thing to scare him into a different view of life. But I don't think that'll happen any time soon. If anything, he's toning down his usage so that it doesn't bother anyone but us. [img]:grrr:[/img] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...the Catch 22 is that, while kids our son's age are using drugs, they aren't able to do the maturing and emotional growing that are so important at this time in their lives, and they get further and further behind in that regard, which leads them to use more and more drugs.</div></div> Same thing said by his therapist. If they start using when they're 14 (like the beast did), then they stay 14 emotionally as long as they're using. And I believe it, because when I have to deal with him it's like dealing with your typical, self-centered, oblivious-to-real-life young teen. The only thing that's saved his skinny rear is that even at that age, he had some pretty impressive skills he could use in both athletics and the arts. Even though he hasn't lifted a finger in three years to improve himself, he's still far ahead of his peers in the arts. So he has something he can fall back on, if needed. His health has gone south, so athletics is out. And when someone spoon-feeds him his schoolwork (like he gets at the alt. ed. program), he's still capable of making A's in hard subjects. But regardless of whatever (stagnant) skills he may have, he's still a 14YO in a near-18YO body, who wants the bennies of an 18YO but still wants to act like a 14YO. Not news to anyone here, just talking out loud (as usual). But [b]my[/b] epiphany was that as long as he was still using, had a bed, three meals a day, health insurance, and the security of four walls around him, he may never progress beyond that 14YO mentality. Which means he may have to leave the house, as soon as it's legal, to learn. And that was the final realization that scared me - having a 14YO difficult child thrust into the world, unprepared, but unable to live at home any more. One of his current "friends" in the Pothead Posse just got that as [i]his[/i] graduation present - two suitcases, 200 dollars, the title to his car, and an escort out the door. According to the mother of another member of the posse, next year her kid may not even have a week after his graduation day to start his new life somewhere else. Argh! Why does it have to be this way? Mikey [/QUOTE]
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