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Pour on the Sympathy.......
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 392147" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hound, </p><p> </p><p>I LOVE Daisy's idea, like to the nth degree. LOVE IT. LOVE IT. And Marcy is SO dead on right it is (still laughing at head bursting into flames comment and picturing that) but she is sooooo right and you know she is. </p><p> </p><p>I sat in a food bank the other day Tuesday - and the majority of the people that were in there with me were dressed like me. It wasn't that I judge or make comparisons ever, just observation of this one woman. 40ish, loud, and hacking cough, and felt the need to go around and touch everyone in the room and did that 'crazy' impersonation. I say impersonnation because I think it was bunk. I think it was bunk and she KNEW I knew she was full of it. How do I know? Because she did the up, down, up, down in and out of the room, talking loud enough for everyone to hear her business, and sit next to you, touch you, laugh -agree with me am I crazy or what 'thing' with everyone in the room EXCEPT me. I just sat there watching her thinking to myself "WHAT a horrible little actress." She was bumming cigarettes off those who would share, whispering to the men that would let her get that close, and doing her crazy routine until there was not a single person left in the room except her and I. I just sat there and when there was only her and I in the room? She sat down, never approached me, didn't ask me for anything, no cigarettes, no stories, no how sad she felt, not how down and out she was - not how hungry she was - nothing. She just sat there quietly. Finally she looked over at me and started to say something and I looked right at her as if to say "Choose your words carefully." and she said "You don't play do you?" I said NOTHING. Not yes, not no, not a head jesture - I just stared at her, and got up then turned and said "No one can give you your dignity back - it's something you have to earn once you loose it." and I left the room. IMVHO she had lost all of hers. Years of giving it away for a cigarette here, or a free ride there thinking it was easier than working for a living or struggling a little to keep some self respect. </p><p> </p><p>I guess some people may feel sorry for people like that and those types of people have to exist in the world to balance us out. We can't all be hard without ever showing any mercy - but people don't always realize, and neither did I when it came to Dude that if some of these 'easy street' people are ever going to learn any of lifes lessons for some it will have to be in such a hard way that the rest of us will want to put out a hand for them or their kids to cushion the blow but we do no favors in doing so. The harder lesson it seems to me comes for us - because when there are children involved the balance isn't right - we should be able to help the kids without helping the parents and I'm not sure you can, or at least at this point I'm not sure HOW you can. I can only draw on my own life experiences here and I know that what little my Mom and Dad DID know about what Dude and I were going through? It must have killed them. Had they ever known all what we were living in I was sure they would come and rescue us. Well - not so. Even years later it was confusing because I kept thinking HOW could you NOT rush in here - HE IS YOUR GRANDSON??? But the reality of it was - HAD they saved him? They saved ME too - and in saving ME? I learned less than. By allowing me to live my own life I guess I got to see full tilt what was to be....and in my mind I just couldn't have it. It was like - THIS is WHAT WILL happen - on MY OWN. </p><p> </p><p>In K's case - Marcie has nailed it - and so has Daisy - K is comfortable living like she does with husband. husband is comfortable sponging and putting K out there to figure it out. If you took the kids away? They'd probably be the two happiest people in the world free to be 40 and irresponsible or rather responsible for no one else but themselves again. I don't get the feeling that children are a blessing to them - rather a burden or a tool to get. This **** about Christmas presents. Has she offered to do ANY work to earn money for gifts? Has HE? I mean raking leaves $10 a yard? There's some money. Unemployment office is re-training people left and right for new jobs. It just makes me curious if you DID take Evan WHAT the excuse would be for them? </p><p> </p><p>I'd take it a step further - Guardanship - draw up paperwork stating you can take Evan to school, hospital - doctor - and give them XX days to get their mess together. If not? have them sign him over to you. Then start with the little girl. Maybe then that would show YOU how non-serious or hopefully serious they are about easy-peasy street. In any event it could only improve for the grands. </p><p> </p><p>I just wouldn't want to be in this situation - I was a GM from HADES over Ouixa...and I STILL am.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 392147, member: 4964"] Hound, I LOVE Daisy's idea, like to the nth degree. LOVE IT. LOVE IT. And Marcy is SO dead on right it is (still laughing at head bursting into flames comment and picturing that) but she is sooooo right and you know she is. I sat in a food bank the other day Tuesday - and the majority of the people that were in there with me were dressed like me. It wasn't that I judge or make comparisons ever, just observation of this one woman. 40ish, loud, and hacking cough, and felt the need to go around and touch everyone in the room and did that 'crazy' impersonation. I say impersonnation because I think it was bunk. I think it was bunk and she KNEW I knew she was full of it. How do I know? Because she did the up, down, up, down in and out of the room, talking loud enough for everyone to hear her business, and sit next to you, touch you, laugh -agree with me am I crazy or what 'thing' with everyone in the room EXCEPT me. I just sat there watching her thinking to myself "WHAT a horrible little actress." She was bumming cigarettes off those who would share, whispering to the men that would let her get that close, and doing her crazy routine until there was not a single person left in the room except her and I. I just sat there and when there was only her and I in the room? She sat down, never approached me, didn't ask me for anything, no cigarettes, no stories, no how sad she felt, not how down and out she was - not how hungry she was - nothing. She just sat there quietly. Finally she looked over at me and started to say something and I looked right at her as if to say "Choose your words carefully." and she said "You don't play do you?" I said NOTHING. Not yes, not no, not a head jesture - I just stared at her, and got up then turned and said "No one can give you your dignity back - it's something you have to earn once you loose it." and I left the room. IMVHO she had lost all of hers. Years of giving it away for a cigarette here, or a free ride there thinking it was easier than working for a living or struggling a little to keep some self respect. I guess some people may feel sorry for people like that and those types of people have to exist in the world to balance us out. We can't all be hard without ever showing any mercy - but people don't always realize, and neither did I when it came to Dude that if some of these 'easy street' people are ever going to learn any of lifes lessons for some it will have to be in such a hard way that the rest of us will want to put out a hand for them or their kids to cushion the blow but we do no favors in doing so. The harder lesson it seems to me comes for us - because when there are children involved the balance isn't right - we should be able to help the kids without helping the parents and I'm not sure you can, or at least at this point I'm not sure HOW you can. I can only draw on my own life experiences here and I know that what little my Mom and Dad DID know about what Dude and I were going through? It must have killed them. Had they ever known all what we were living in I was sure they would come and rescue us. Well - not so. Even years later it was confusing because I kept thinking HOW could you NOT rush in here - HE IS YOUR GRANDSON??? But the reality of it was - HAD they saved him? They saved ME too - and in saving ME? I learned less than. By allowing me to live my own life I guess I got to see full tilt what was to be....and in my mind I just couldn't have it. It was like - THIS is WHAT WILL happen - on MY OWN. In K's case - Marcie has nailed it - and so has Daisy - K is comfortable living like she does with husband. husband is comfortable sponging and putting K out there to figure it out. If you took the kids away? They'd probably be the two happiest people in the world free to be 40 and irresponsible or rather responsible for no one else but themselves again. I don't get the feeling that children are a blessing to them - rather a burden or a tool to get. This **** about Christmas presents. Has she offered to do ANY work to earn money for gifts? Has HE? I mean raking leaves $10 a yard? There's some money. Unemployment office is re-training people left and right for new jobs. It just makes me curious if you DID take Evan WHAT the excuse would be for them? I'd take it a step further - Guardanship - draw up paperwork stating you can take Evan to school, hospital - doctor - and give them XX days to get their mess together. If not? have them sign him over to you. Then start with the little girl. Maybe then that would show YOU how non-serious or hopefully serious they are about easy-peasy street. In any event it could only improve for the grands. I just wouldn't want to be in this situation - I was a GM from HADES over Ouixa...and I STILL am. [/QUOTE]
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