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Power struggles
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 753411" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>No. That's unnecessary. But why are you buying her personal products? Is she in the position where she has no personal funds? I don't see how somebody her age can operate without an allowance of some sort. But then why would somebody her age have an allowance? She is capable of working.</p><p>I am tired just reading these posts. This is like a fencing match. Why does your daughter have the prerogative to a running commentary of insults of you? You are the parent. You provide her with a home, food, support, money, school...and she feels entitled to monitor and correct your behavior; and does not feel obligated to clean her messes or contribute to the household in any way.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps my understanding of this is colored by my experience with my son, but I don't see this getting better under the current conditions.</p><p>This is ridiculous. I would strongly suggest to her that she needs to come up with another lifestyle choice, if her current option does not work for her. And her current option is: you are her slave and whipping boy. And she is the princess on the float, interrupted only by the intervals when she whips you into shape.</p><p>I think you are. But a lot of it is being set up by her. This is her MO. And there's no way around it. You are only playing the only role you are allowed in the current set up.</p><p>I had written a post last night which got erased, where I broached this. I asked why she was no longer living at school and whether you had considered setting a date for her to move out. Right now your daughter gets all of her power through you and through her various symptoms and medications. This is her powerbase. No matter what the downside of her being at school, it seems being home is not good. For you or her. The intensity of the struggle. The fact she does not let up. Her dependency upon you. Which she uses as a weapon. being ill and symptomatic, which she uses as a weapon. How could this be good?</p><p></p><p>She is within the age bracket for Job Corps. This is a federally funded jobs program where they house and feed and train young adults vocationally. They are supervised. But it is the real world. They accept people with problems. My son went and he completed the program. I would suggest she return to college or consider a program like Job Corps, or a residential treatment program. I would give her no other option.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 753411, member: 18958"] No. That's unnecessary. But why are you buying her personal products? Is she in the position where she has no personal funds? I don't see how somebody her age can operate without an allowance of some sort. But then why would somebody her age have an allowance? She is capable of working. I am tired just reading these posts. This is like a fencing match. Why does your daughter have the prerogative to a running commentary of insults of you? You are the parent. You provide her with a home, food, support, money, school...and she feels entitled to monitor and correct your behavior; and does not feel obligated to clean her messes or contribute to the household in any way. Perhaps my understanding of this is colored by my experience with my son, but I don't see this getting better under the current conditions. This is ridiculous. I would strongly suggest to her that she needs to come up with another lifestyle choice, if her current option does not work for her. And her current option is: you are her slave and whipping boy. And she is the princess on the float, interrupted only by the intervals when she whips you into shape. I think you are. But a lot of it is being set up by her. This is her MO. And there's no way around it. You are only playing the only role you are allowed in the current set up. I had written a post last night which got erased, where I broached this. I asked why she was no longer living at school and whether you had considered setting a date for her to move out. Right now your daughter gets all of her power through you and through her various symptoms and medications. This is her powerbase. No matter what the downside of her being at school, it seems being home is not good. For you or her. The intensity of the struggle. The fact she does not let up. Her dependency upon you. Which she uses as a weapon. being ill and symptomatic, which she uses as a weapon. How could this be good? She is within the age bracket for Job Corps. This is a federally funded jobs program where they house and feed and train young adults vocationally. They are supervised. But it is the real world. They accept people with problems. My son went and he completed the program. I would suggest she return to college or consider a program like Job Corps, or a residential treatment program. I would give her no other option. [/QUOTE]
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