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<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 753490" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>On the way home from the gym I remembered that she has started cutting three times. And every single time I was away in Europe. I had devoted years to her prior to that first trip. She had been sick with depression. I took her to 3 different states on vacations , we had Saturday fun days with activities. I learned, slowly, to just be present and hold space for her rather than trying to change how she felt. It was difficult but I was her person and I wanted to be .</p><p></p><p>When she went to school, I wanted a break , I felt I could have a little breathing room for myself now that she was going to be busy with her adult life. I needed to break through fears of my own, like flying, like not identifying as Mother so much anymore , finding who I used to be . And so I went on my first trip, solo. And it was right before that that she met that friend and discarded me . I am not saying she pulled away some which would be normal at her age. She emotionally disconnected from me. And I am wondering now whether it was abandonment she felt. Abandonment so deep she cut. Something happened with a young man at the same time and I thought she started cutting as a result of that. I was in Europe when she called and said he broke it off (they went on 3 dates) and that she had done something bad (her words). By the time I got back 3 weeks later not only was she cutting up and down her arms , she had met a friend who had a history of it and has scars all over his body. She was glamorizing cutting. </p><p></p><p>She was stopped cutting for months before this last trip and she started again in my absence. It is clearly related to my leaving. </p><p></p><p>Is this consistent with borderline personality disorder?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 753490, member: 24254"] On the way home from the gym I remembered that she has started cutting three times. And every single time I was away in Europe. I had devoted years to her prior to that first trip. She had been sick with depression. I took her to 3 different states on vacations , we had Saturday fun days with activities. I learned, slowly, to just be present and hold space for her rather than trying to change how she felt. It was difficult but I was her person and I wanted to be . When she went to school, I wanted a break , I felt I could have a little breathing room for myself now that she was going to be busy with her adult life. I needed to break through fears of my own, like flying, like not identifying as Mother so much anymore , finding who I used to be . And so I went on my first trip, solo. And it was right before that that she met that friend and discarded me . I am not saying she pulled away some which would be normal at her age. She emotionally disconnected from me. And I am wondering now whether it was abandonment she felt. Abandonment so deep she cut. Something happened with a young man at the same time and I thought she started cutting as a result of that. I was in Europe when she called and said he broke it off (they went on 3 dates) and that she had done something bad (her words). By the time I got back 3 weeks later not only was she cutting up and down her arms , she had met a friend who had a history of it and has scars all over his body. She was glamorizing cutting. She was stopped cutting for months before this last trip and she started again in my absence. It is clearly related to my leaving. Is this consistent with borderline personality disorder? [/QUOTE]
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