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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 563194"><p>AG- I don't have any advice. The only advice I can give you is the same one thing that I tell myself - DO WHAT YOU WHAT FEELS RIGHT, and screw the rest. Sometimes you need to come to this board or talk to a professional or sleep on it to figure out what feels right. So I totally applaud that you are seeking opinions. That is exactly what I like to do because sometimes it lights up a better path.</p><p></p><p>But in the end, CHOOSE YOU and that means do what you feel is best, no recriminations and then stop second guessing yourself. So in the end - if it enables him more - so what? If you make him sleep in the cold? So What? If he comes to your house and it doesn't work out? Live and Learn. You tried your best; this is not your fault and you can't fix him. And you do NOT NEED TO FIX YOURSELF. You need to live with yourself. This is you CHILD. Not a sibling, not a spouse, not a friend. As moms, we have a maternal obligation and a parental instinct to help our children survive. Sometimes that obligation involves THROWING them out of the nest. Sometimes, that obligation involves welcoming them back into the nest, wrapped in cotton batting and feeding them off our own plates even when they completely don't deserve it and they hate us for it. </p><p></p><p>Yes, we often lose sight of the trees in the forest. I come here for reality checks when I need to. That is part of my maternal obligation and my mother's intuition. And I have often been gently OR firmly pointed in the right direction - and that's usually because the right direction is so blatantly apparent to everyone BUT me. And that's why I love it here. </p><p></p><p>But I also love it here because we all bring different life experiences to our posts, I like the advice of people who have taken those various paths. None of which have ever been perfect. The one thing we ALL share in common is that we are careful and dedicated mothers who want what's best for our kids. If we weren't, we would be content to do this blindly and without second guessing ourselves. </p><p></p><p>So do what feels right and then don't agonize over it. Trust yourself. I trust you to make the right decision for YOU and for him.</p><p></p><p>{{{hugs}}}</p><p></p><p>And on an aside note...when you said <em><span style="color: #000000"> he stopped to say, "But I have to make some money." I don't know why he said that. Maybe because he was gaining some independence and then oops, he is back under my wing"</span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #000000"></span></em></p><p><em><span style="color: #000000">.</span></em>..my initial thought is he OWES someone some money. Just a hunch.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 563194"] AG- I don't have any advice. The only advice I can give you is the same one thing that I tell myself - DO WHAT YOU WHAT FEELS RIGHT, and screw the rest. Sometimes you need to come to this board or talk to a professional or sleep on it to figure out what feels right. So I totally applaud that you are seeking opinions. That is exactly what I like to do because sometimes it lights up a better path. But in the end, CHOOSE YOU and that means do what you feel is best, no recriminations and then stop second guessing yourself. So in the end - if it enables him more - so what? If you make him sleep in the cold? So What? If he comes to your house and it doesn't work out? Live and Learn. You tried your best; this is not your fault and you can't fix him. And you do NOT NEED TO FIX YOURSELF. You need to live with yourself. This is you CHILD. Not a sibling, not a spouse, not a friend. As moms, we have a maternal obligation and a parental instinct to help our children survive. Sometimes that obligation involves THROWING them out of the nest. Sometimes, that obligation involves welcoming them back into the nest, wrapped in cotton batting and feeding them off our own plates even when they completely don't deserve it and they hate us for it. Yes, we often lose sight of the trees in the forest. I come here for reality checks when I need to. That is part of my maternal obligation and my mother's intuition. And I have often been gently OR firmly pointed in the right direction - and that's usually because the right direction is so blatantly apparent to everyone BUT me. And that's why I love it here. But I also love it here because we all bring different life experiences to our posts, I like the advice of people who have taken those various paths. None of which have ever been perfect. The one thing we ALL share in common is that we are careful and dedicated mothers who want what's best for our kids. If we weren't, we would be content to do this blindly and without second guessing ourselves. So do what feels right and then don't agonize over it. Trust yourself. I trust you to make the right decision for YOU and for him. {{{hugs}}} And on an aside note...when you said [I][COLOR=#000000] he stopped to say, "But I have to make some money." I don't know why he said that. Maybe because he was gaining some independence and then oops, he is back under my wing" .[/COLOR][/I]..my initial thought is he OWES someone some money. Just a hunch. [/QUOTE]
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