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Praying for that day......
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 677162" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Thank you Rosie.</p><p>I spent a lot of time worrying about my two and my grands. I finally realized, the worrying just prevents me from living, and does nothing for them.</p><p>We end up taking all of that negative byproduct of the addiction and internalizing it. It becomes a <em>sickness</em> for us, and we slide down the slippery slope <em>with them.</em></p><p>This is no good, Rosie. I do not mean to sound preachy because I have made many mistakes, myself, but looking back, I wish I was tougher and <em>knew more. </em></p><p>I would have done many things differently, the big one, stepping back and viewing myself as a separate person, with my own life to live. It is hard when our kids go this route.</p><p>But we do not need to do anything, they know what they need to do.</p><p>The longer we worry and pine, the more entrenched we are in their <em>addiction,</em> the less likely they are to get help. I think they feed off of our worries, it becomes a tool for them.</p><p>A weapon.</p><p></p><p>We have to get in control of our lives and step back from theirs. We cannot do anything for them, that they can't do for themselves.</p><p>I am learning, slowly. Trying to pick up the pieces of this. I do not ever want to go back to the hell it got to.</p><p></p><p>I want my two to be free of drugs, but they have to want that, too.</p><p></p><p>By knowing that, and doing my best to live well, I think that is the first and foremost thing to do. Show by my example, how to live well.</p><p></p><p>My Rain looked at me with such hatred and said</p><p>" You think you are so high and mighty." I said "No, I work, pay bills and care for my family." I am just a normal person.</p><p>She rolled her eyes.</p><p>Her <em>normal people are drug addicts. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>I</em> am despised for my stance against drugs and enabling.</p><p></p><p>It has been years of this.</p><p></p><p>I want my life back. I intend to work hard at getting it back. I have been focused way too long on this stuff.........</p><p></p><p>Take care, Rosie and thank you so much for your kindness.</p><p></p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 677162, member: 19522"] Thank you Rosie. I spent a lot of time worrying about my two and my grands. I finally realized, the worrying just prevents me from living, and does nothing for them. We end up taking all of that negative byproduct of the addiction and internalizing it. It becomes a [I]sickness[/I] for us, and we slide down the slippery slope [I]with them.[/I] This is no good, Rosie. I do not mean to sound preachy because I have made many mistakes, myself, but looking back, I wish I was tougher and [I]knew more. [/I] I would have done many things differently, the big one, stepping back and viewing myself as a separate person, with my own life to live. It is hard when our kids go this route. But we do not need to do anything, they know what they need to do. The longer we worry and pine, the more entrenched we are in their [I]addiction,[/I] the less likely they are to get help. I think they feed off of our worries, it becomes a tool for them. A weapon. We have to get in control of our lives and step back from theirs. We cannot do anything for them, that they can't do for themselves. I am learning, slowly. Trying to pick up the pieces of this. I do not ever want to go back to the hell it got to. I want my two to be free of drugs, but they have to want that, too. By knowing that, and doing my best to live well, I think that is the first and foremost thing to do. Show by my example, how to live well. My Rain looked at me with such hatred and said " You think you are so high and mighty." I said "No, I work, pay bills and care for my family." I am just a normal person. She rolled her eyes. Her [I]normal people are drug addicts. I[/I] am despised for my stance against drugs and enabling. It has been years of this. I want my life back. I intend to work hard at getting it back. I have been focused way too long on this stuff......... Take care, Rosie and thank you so much for your kindness. leafy [/QUOTE]
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