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Problem with gfgbro
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 243213" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I WISH my bro lived in another state. When he used to come visit us when we lived out of state he came even if we said "No." Just showed up. After the visit when Jess was about 18months he really wasn't welcome but husband & I caved at my parents' insistence. During the visit when Jess was 18 months he put BEER in a baby bottle for her because she woke up in the night! Really heavy dark beer. Then he hid the bottle under the couch and TURNED THE CRIB AROUND SO WE WOULDN'T SEE WHERE SHE HAD VOMITED DOWN THE OUTSIDE OF IT!! </p><p></p><p>He didn't even change her clothes. left her to sleep in clothes covered in vomit until I got up. I was furious when I found her laying in vomit, and more furious when I found the crib turned around later (didn't see it right away because neither side lowered). My parents told me I was making too big a deal out of it.</p><p></p><p>when she was 4 he tried to give her Skoal. It was excused as "he was just trying to tease you, to get your goat. He wouldn't have REALLY given it to her." This is what my mom said. I kicked him out of the house. He was visiting and there were plenty of other relatives who lived nearby.</p><p></p><p>He wants to know all the stuff from childhood (some of it was done during drunk blackouts - I truly believe that - he started having blackouts when he drank at age 13 or 14. My parents didn't find out until he went to AA in his THIRTIES!) so that he can "make amends". but telling him all the stuff and facing his disbelief would be harmful to ME.</p><p></p><p>Meanwhile, my mom thinks I am holding a "grudge" because I won't just forget and make it so it never happened. Somehow she things forgiving someone means you trust them completely and the thing never happened. But ONLY when it comes to Bro and Wiz. With Jess and I anything we do is brought up over and over again for years, sometimes decades.</p><p></p><p>Bro will make a big deal over not being allowed in unless husband is here. But that is tough.</p><p></p><p>I just learned today that he called 2x and jess told him that "Mom is asleep and I don't have anything to say to you." and hung up before he could speak. Good for her!</p><p></p><p>I will have to write down the limits as best I can. And stick to the "only when husband is here" because both of my younger kids are and have been afraid of him.</p><p></p><p>Wiz is over being afraid, he just doesn't like him.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for the support.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 243213, member: 1233"] I WISH my bro lived in another state. When he used to come visit us when we lived out of state he came even if we said "No." Just showed up. After the visit when Jess was about 18months he really wasn't welcome but husband & I caved at my parents' insistence. During the visit when Jess was 18 months he put BEER in a baby bottle for her because she woke up in the night! Really heavy dark beer. Then he hid the bottle under the couch and TURNED THE CRIB AROUND SO WE WOULDN'T SEE WHERE SHE HAD VOMITED DOWN THE OUTSIDE OF IT!! He didn't even change her clothes. left her to sleep in clothes covered in vomit until I got up. I was furious when I found her laying in vomit, and more furious when I found the crib turned around later (didn't see it right away because neither side lowered). My parents told me I was making too big a deal out of it. when she was 4 he tried to give her Skoal. It was excused as "he was just trying to tease you, to get your goat. He wouldn't have REALLY given it to her." This is what my mom said. I kicked him out of the house. He was visiting and there were plenty of other relatives who lived nearby. He wants to know all the stuff from childhood (some of it was done during drunk blackouts - I truly believe that - he started having blackouts when he drank at age 13 or 14. My parents didn't find out until he went to AA in his THIRTIES!) so that he can "make amends". but telling him all the stuff and facing his disbelief would be harmful to ME. Meanwhile, my mom thinks I am holding a "grudge" because I won't just forget and make it so it never happened. Somehow she things forgiving someone means you trust them completely and the thing never happened. But ONLY when it comes to Bro and Wiz. With Jess and I anything we do is brought up over and over again for years, sometimes decades. Bro will make a big deal over not being allowed in unless husband is here. But that is tough. I just learned today that he called 2x and jess told him that "Mom is asleep and I don't have anything to say to you." and hung up before he could speak. Good for her! I will have to write down the limits as best I can. And stick to the "only when husband is here" because both of my younger kids are and have been afraid of him. Wiz is over being afraid, he just doesn't like him. Thanks for the support. [/QUOTE]
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